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Who’s right, me or my new step-daughter? I just got married this past Saturday and there is already drama!?

  • Posted on December 28, 2010 at 9:22 am

My husband and I planned a small intimate backyard wedding, for just our closest family and friends. My two children (ages 14 and 7) live with us and his daughter, who is 21, lives 800 miles away. We flew his daughter up for the wedding, along with her boyfriend, with the understanding that they would stay with his sister so that we could have the weekend together after our wedding. We could not afford to take a honeymoon right now, as my children are both special needs and I will be starting law school in 2 weeks. His daughter got here 2 days before the wedding and he spent all day with her the day before the wedding itself. I spent some time with her the night before the wedding and she told me that she really loves me and is so happy that her father had finally found someone (he and her mother have been divorced for 18 years). The wedding ceremony was beautiful, but my new step daughter was upset at the seating arrangements. Her and her boyfriend both got too drunk to drive, so my new husband and I had to leave our wedding separately so he could drive them to his sister’s. When I got home, they were all at our house, with his daughter refusing to leave, saying she was too sick. This was my wedding night and I didn’t get any time with my husband (my children stayed with my parents so we could have our wedding night alone). The day after the wedding she insisted he spend time with her and her boyfriend because he doesn’t get to see her very often since she lives so far away and he can see me anytime. They all went out to a movie and dinner, leaving me at home. I was very upset that I had not gotten to spend any time with my husband since saying our vows. I discussed this with him and he agreed to enforce the agreement that his daughter go to his sister’s house. When he spoke to his daughter, she was very upset and again insisted he should be spending time with her. The next day was Monday and I had to return to work, so my husband had all day to spend with his daughter. When I returned home from work, before I even got a chance to get in the door of my house, my new step-daughter verbally assaulted me telling me that I was nothing but a b*tch and that I had no right to be upset. At that point my husband defended me and told his daughter that she had been being very selfish and that he should have been spending time with me on our wedding weekend. His daughter told him that he was choosing me over her and that she never wanted to see him again and she packed her things and left. She is now refusing to speak to her father. She says he has never done anything for her, even though we pay her rent every month. My question is was it unreasonable of me to want to spend the night of my wedding and the next day with my new husband? She keeps insisting that he should have been visiting with her, but I feel that she was flown up here for a wedding, not a casual visit. We fly her up to us at least twice a year and he flies down to her at least twice a year as well.

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