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Uneasy about the guy my daughter is seeing?

  • Posted on April 6, 2011 at 8:17 am

A couple months ago, my daughter was dropped off at home by this guy that she’ll eventually start to bring around. I have always trusted my daughter’s choice in guys, but this guy is just something different.
My daughter normally goes for a scholar good kid type of guys. But the new guy is just whole worldly different.
He dresses like a cross over between street punk, motorcycle racer, and military. He’d wear a solid color military style cargo pants or ripped up jeans along with various motorcycle racing accessories such as boots, kneepads, leather chap, gloves, etc… slap on and he always wear a goggle on top of his head or around his neck. His hair is never combed and he seems to shave only once a week. His arms have a lot of scars (not from cutting though) and his neck and shoulder area have a couple scars as well. So he looks rather dirty.
He’s really polite and very well mannered compare to most college age guys, but at same time he’s aloof and seems to have no friends and actually doesn’t have a family. This makes me a bit uneasy but he is really good to my daughter from what I saw and know so far and my wife like him and says he always make my daughter very happy.
Other thing that bothers me is, he seems to have no realistic goal set in mind. He’s a mid level pro kickboxer and boxer for living. He’s also working on his engineering degree, but he’s doing it only part time instead of full time which means it’d take him longer to get a degree. Despite of having an old jeep, he mostly drives around on his road legal dirt bike to save money on gas. So I get the impression he really isn’t interested in working or any long term goal.
Also I just learned his mother died in a car crash when he was 13 then was a street child after running away from home at 15 because his father was a alcoholic, have brushes with law many times, mostly for fighting and some for gambling. As soon as he turned 18, he joined the air force and eventually end up on combat air controller team until he was medically discharged at 24 because he lose almost all of his hearing in a training accident.
My daughter live with us and is starting to bringing this guy over more often and she just asked if he can spend the thanksgiving with the family which make me feel a bit uneasy since this guy is just something different.
I don’t even understand what my daughter saw in him. I don’t even know much about this guy. I normally try to not judge anyone, but something about this guy make me feel uneasy. My wife wouldn’t take anything I say about him and says he’s a amazing kid especially for someone who went through what he did.
So any advice or insight would be helpful.
My daughter have says that she never feel like he’s judging her and feel really calm and stress free when she’s around him and feel like everything will be safe and okay no matter what. I find it a bit odd because if she’d have stay with this guy who was in medical school, she’d have been really secure for life. But she dumped him and end up with this guy instead.

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how can I cope with my daughter seeing her biological father?

  • Posted on March 12, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Hi there, I am 19 years old and I have a 23 month old daughter. I am also pregnant with my second (14 weeks 2 days)
Her father was only in her life from the time she was 4 months old to the time she was 12 months old.
Other then that it has been the man that was with me my entire pregnancy up to 4 months and from 12 months to present.
Her biological father through the courts eyes can not be proven unfit… However here is a little bit of history on him….

he has a criminal record with the police.
he is known around our town as a physco
he never played with our daughter
he never fed our daughter
he never bathed our daughter
he never changed our daughters bum or got her dressed
I could not leave my daughter alone with him or else she would scream bloody murder, come to find out he has hit her.
When I was pregnant with her he always had his girlfriends try to beat me up and at one point, he threatened to poor gasoline on me and light me on fire while i was sleeping.
He comes from a broken and abusive family… his mom and dad are alcoholics, his sister has 3 kids and is in a very abusive relationship, and both her and her boyfriend beat their children.
His dad is on heavy drugs and also an alcoholic, and his brother is in and out of physc wards hes a drunk and drug addicted, he is a chronic liar (literally) He steals from big brand name stores and takes off out of the province.
Between Feb.4 2010 and NOW I have had to call the police on my daughters father 65 times, for harrasment, uttering threats, damaging property and trying to run me off the road in a vehicle.. while my child was in the car….
I dont know if it is clear to you people on what kind of guy I am dealing with, however through my eyes and my familys eyes he is a very dangerous person and the court is just going to allow him to have access to this poor innocent child who doesnt know any better and is not able to come home and tell me how it went. I am having a very hard time dealing with this and I am beginning to get very stressed, I am having anxiety and I think maybe a little bit of depression. Any suggestions on what I should do?

Please only helpful things, I am not looking to be judged and or criticized!
I HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER
I WAS WITH HIM FOR 3 YEARS BEFORE GETTING [REGNANT AND DID NOT KNOW THESE THINGS ABOUT HIM
I HAVE EVERYTIME I CALLED THE POLICE DOCUMENTED AND I ALSO HAVE ALL THE POLICE DOCUMENTATIONS FROM THE HEAD QUARTERS IN OTTAWA ONTARIO…

NONE OF THIS SEEMS TO MATTER…. HE IS U AND NOBODY CAN SEEM TO SEE IT… AND YOU PEOPLE WHO CAN SEE IT DONT THINK IM TELLING THE TRUTH?

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what should i expect when seeing my mom after 6 years?

  • Posted on January 27, 2011 at 4:21 am

i haven’t seen or spoken to my mom in 6 years, i recently heard from her and we made plans to meet but between then and now i got married and had ababy 6 weeks ago, she missed out on this part of my life because of drug addiction, she got married too to a man i have never met. can anyone tell me what to expect when i see my mom after all these years, im bringing my daughter and my husband is that a good idea?

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should i keep seeing my therapist?

  • Posted on October 3, 2010 at 11:17 pm

i am a 21 yr old female. i am depressed, i binge eat and have very low self esteem. a doctor at a health clinic referred me to a psychiatrist who later referred me to a therapist. today was our first meeting. i told her a little about my past and we spoke for a while. basically she told me to get out of bed and stop feeling sorry for my self the past is the past. i have to help myself or she can’t help me. she said that i should go to a church she then took me around the hospital to meet a girl that goes to the church and had me standing there like some charity case with the girl looking at me and saying that her “daughter was around my age and that maybe she could pick me up”, all the while patients are waiting in line looking at me. to make a long story short i feel like crap today. i just really realized how sad my life is, what a looser i feel like. i am so tired of it. i also binged today. so should i keep seing my therapist or should i stop. i feel like doing the latter.

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Parents of a close female friend don’t want me seeing her anymore.?

  • Posted on October 2, 2010 at 7:22 am

I met this spectacular girl about a month ago through friends we both knew, and we started making plans to hang out with each other with friends with us. When we grew closer to each other and started to hang out alone, I met her mom. She seemed okay with me being 18, and her daughter, 15. Fast forward a few weeks later, her dad finds out that I’m interested in her decides it’s not okay for me to see his daughter anymore, eventually convincing the mom it’s not okay as well. I got word that the dad drinks a lot, and I received a phone call from him one evening when he was clearly intoxicated. He started threatening me, saying he will call the police if I see his daughter again because he is afraid that I’m trying to push her to have sex (which I am most definitely not).

I just want an honest, straightforward relationship with this girl, I see things in her that I don’t see in most girls. We have so much in common that I’d hate to lose her because of her dad. We have both made efforts to try to calm him down and let him meet me before he starts judging me for who I am JUST because I’m 18. I just don’t know what to do anymore, Yahoo, please help?
I am getting mixed signals on what she wants right now, she seems to be okay with the situation, but she also seems like she wants to see me sometimes even though she is not supposed to.

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i am seeing my daughter after 10 years?

  • Posted on September 6, 2010 at 3:21 pm

my daughter lives with my sister and i have not seen her for 10 years as i was a heroin addict and i thought it better to let my sister look after her she has turned 16 and wants to meet me in 2 weeks i am scared to death can anybody give me advice please

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my baby son’s mother is seeing a heroin addict what can i do?

  • Posted on August 14, 2010 at 5:20 pm

i would like custody but my name isn’t on the birth certificate, although he is 100% mine, but we split when she was pregnant.last night she texted me and said she was seeing her ex boyfriend who she has a 6yr old daughter with.but he is on heroin and violent and im really worried about my son , he is 7 mths old and i have him at weekends.what can i do?
i pay her money every week and i buy him clothes.
and we live in uk

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Is it possible to stop my ex partners parents seeing my daughter?

  • Posted on August 14, 2010 at 4:17 pm

My ex partners mother is addicted to drugs and she is an alcoholic and has been for years. The drugs she is addicted to are speed and possibly crack coacaine. I live in uk so any advice would appreciated, i am at a loose end as my daughter is at risk of coming in to contact with drugs.

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my baby son’s mother is seeing a heroin addict what can i do?

  • Posted on August 13, 2010 at 7:20 pm

i would like custody but my name isn’t on the birth certificate, although he is 100% mine, but we split when she was pregnant.last night she texted me and said she was seeing her ex boyfriend who she has a 6yr old daughter with.but he is on heroin and violent and im really worried about my son , he is 7 mths old and i have him at weekends.what can i do?
i pay her money every week and i buy him clothes.
and we live in uk

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my baby son’s mother is seeing a heroin addict what can i do?

  • Posted on August 12, 2010 at 9:21 pm

i would like custody but my name isn’t on the birth certificate, although he is 100% mine, but we split when she was pregnant.last night she texted me and said she was seeing her ex boyfriend who she has a 6yr old daughter with.but he is on heroin and violent and im really worried about my son , he is 7 mths old and i have him at weekends.what can i do?
i pay her money every week and i buy him clothes.
and we live in uk

  • Share/Bookmark