Everyone dismisses me. No one listens to me. No one wants to hear that my husband is abusive. Everyone scratches their heads and says, “Now what would make him act so out of character?” or they change the subject or they act like I am making it up.
My husband has said I deserve to die a lonely death. He no longer wants to be married to me, and yet he won’t let me go. He accuses me of playing games with him and trying to drive him crazy when I say what bothers me.
I have three teens. If I get tired or simply tired of the constant battles, my daughters tell me I am a drama queen. This morning I had to get my daughter out of my husband’s car because he was being violently angry and I did not want him to drive her to where she had to go. So he grabbed me and shoved me. I didn’t fight back. Later my daughter told me I put her in a horrible situation and made her feel bad. I did not one thing. Her father was on a binge or something and it was unsafe for her to be in the car. I calmly told both of them I would drive, and he got physical with me.
So, all these things. All this negativity coming at me. Some days I have had enough. Everyone wants me gone and dead, and yet everyone will rationalize my death by saying I was selfish and mentally ill.
The people who act as though I am a complete idiot and as though they wish I would vaporize, are the same people who will soothe their guilt with comments about me being mentally ill and unstable and selfish. Is that reasonable??
