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Is it alright to have sex with a married woman if she is about to get a divorce and currently separated?

  • Posted on March 21, 2011 at 1:21 am

so this woman i have known for like 7yrs is separated from her husband. they have only known eachother for like 2 years and have been married for 1. her husband is currently in rehab and has cheated on her numorus times. he keeps going back to jail and rehab because of drug addiction and he wont stop using. not even to be able to see his daughter again. she has basicly gotten tired of it and told him she wanted a divorce and they are now separated waiting to get divorced. i have loved this woman since i met her and last night she told me that she really liked me and wanted to start a relationship as more than just friends. she was also doing drugs with her husband whaen they met but is now clean and has her daughter back and is trying to keep it that way. and doing a damn good job might i add. and when we are with eachother then its alot easier for her to not think about anything like drinking or drugs or anything like that cause i dont put myself around that kinda stuff. so no matter
what, i am still gonna chill with her cuase it helps her and her child alot. but the last night we had sex and i am not sure if i should keep it as friends till the divorce is final or if i should just continue to have sex with her. so tell me what you think and if you know anything about this kinda stuff from expieriance
what, i am still gonna chill with her cuase it helps her and her child alot. but the last night we had sex and i am not sure if i should keep it as friends till the divorce is final or if i should just continue to have sex with her. so tell me what you think and if you know anything about this kinda stuff from expieriance

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I am separated from my husband. We have an 8 year old daughter together.?

  • Posted on February 3, 2011 at 1:23 am

He is what he calls a “functioning alcoholic.” What that means to me is, he goes to work everyday and I won’t lie he is one of the hardest workers I have ever known. However starting on the drive home he starts drinking and is usually buzzed when he would arrive home. What we saw at home every day was anywhere from a buzzed person to a mean drunk and every combination in between. He makes 90K a year and won’t pay a cent of support for his daughter. Yes, I have a case started through the registry for child support. The reason he feels he shouldn’t have to pay is because I moved back “home.” This so happens to be from Georgia to Washington state so I really mean we moved. But? I had to go to where we would have support. I sort of had a feeling I wouldn’t get any support from him at first, so I was only planning ahead. He and I have both moved on in life. Now that he has this “new family” he won’t even write to his daughter, won’t call. She turned 8 this last weekend and she cried leaving him messages to call her. He never did. He won’t answer my calls or emails. I couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t even call his daughter on her birthday. She has been crying for most of the weekend and keeps telling me she isn’t pretty and she is fat. She is about as tiny and petite as they come. She has asked me I don’t know HOW MANY times, “Mommy, why doesn’t Daddy love me anymore?” I spent all weekend biting my tongue. I honestly don’t know how to answer this question. What is the correct thing to say? Is there a correct thing to say?
A Very, Very Sad Mommy.
Just to update some of the questions here…Yes, she IS old enough to understand. She remembers what it was like living there and the unpredictable behaviors exhibited by her Dad. I have not sugar coated a thing. We speak very openly to each other. She understands he is an alcoholic and what that means. One of her questions to me a while back was, “Mommy? Why does Heineken even make beer? They make my Daddy act dumb.” Her words, not mine. I explained to her that it is not the fault of Heineken, but that of her Daddy’s inability to stop drinking. I explained that all beer companies state warnings on their products to drink responsibly.

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What rules should there be when you are separated?

  • Posted on November 17, 2010 at 3:20 am

My husband and I have been married for 4 years now. We have 2 daughters, one 4 years and one 11 months and another girl that will be here in 4 weeks. My husband was let go from his job 3 1/2 months ago and ever since then he has been going down hill. Drinking, he has been working a non-steady, low paying job 50 miles away from us and staying with his parents or friends because all the gas he would have to use in his truck he would just be working to pay for gas. He has not made much effort to get a better job or one closer to us so that he can come home every night and be with his family. I guess he was just enjoying living the single life or something again. So since he has been away from home most of the week he has been hanging with old friends and last week I found out he had been buying Oxycontin for like a 1 1/2 weeks since some guy he worked with offered him a half and he said he went out of control and used it for 1 1/2 weeks. I’ve caught him in lies before about drugs and he admitted to me about 4 weeks ago that he had been drinking heavily and he started going to AA and NA meeting-not sure how long it lasted since he was out of town. I had been working full time as an engineer until I was laid off last Monday, then he does all this crap and I find out 2 days after I lose my job about all this. So I told him I wanted a divorce and not to come home. I told him he could see his girls. I told him that our money as of now is separate. I am getting 2 weeks severance, 2 weeks vacation and 1 week of work pay tomorrow and I told him that money is for me and the girls. I can’t really go out and get another job now since I’m about to have this baby in 4 weeks, the earliest will be like mid-December so I need this money for us to survive at least til then and I don’t trust him, if he stays at his parents all he needs is gas money and he needs to be giving me money to support his kids. So should I open another account in just my name and put all my money in a new account and keep our joint account open? I just don’t know what other kinds of things to do besides kick him out- I know that he is willing to give me money. He is a great person and I do love him but he has got some problems and he can do good for a while then something like losing his good job gets him all down and feeling worthless-gets depressed and messes up. He’s not a junkie or anything- he just needs to grow up- I don’t know. He has some depression and anxiety issues that he is not taking any medication for so I don’t know if that could be the cause for him to seem like he just doesn’t care when I know that he does-I know that he is really sorry for everything, but I can’t let it keep happening. It’s like when he had that job surveying he really liked it, he had more self worth and for a year and a half he didn’t get into trouble- we were happier cause we finally were not struggling. I just don’t know? I miss his company-Can I still see him if we are separated? Like can we watch a movie together or hang out at all? We obviously have to see each other since we have kids.

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Father ‘yanks’ daughter away from mother.. they’re separated…?

  • Posted on November 12, 2010 at 1:22 pm

So a good girl friend of mine is going through the beginning stages of a divorce with her husband and they have a 3 year old daughter. Actually tomorrow is their daughter’s 3rd birthday.
The husband has a history of anger and infidelity. They’ve been married two years but have been together for 4 or 5. The mother, my friend, isn’t the nicest cookie in the box either but she’s always been faithful and supportive towards her husband, despite what he’s done to her physically and emotionally. Compared to him she’s a saint. And I’m not saying this because she’s my friend, he’d actually been my friend before she ever was, so I’m not being bias.
A few weeks ago my friend told me she’d been planning to leave her husband because she was fed up with it all, and she’d come to have feelings for his friend and their neighbor. She told the neighbor how she felt and he felt the same way so she’d prepared to tell her husband she wanted a separation. She never did anything physically with the neighbor, they both wanted to wait until she’d left her husband.
A few days later, she and her husband had been arguing so she came over to my house to relax and get away from him until things calmed down. He ended up showing up at my place because he needed to get his credit cards from her, while he was waiting for her to get them out of her wallet, he took her phone saying, “I’ll take this with me too since you can’t answer it and I pay for it.” So she told him she wasn’t giving him his cards until he gave her the phone. He didn’t give her the phone and he left. In the phone were text messages she had sent the neighbor she’d fallen for that gave everything away, that gave away she’d wanted to leave her husband for him in particular. He saw the text messages and immediately showed back up at my house and began pounding on the door. At this point my friend knew he’d seen them and she was already upset and she told me not to let him in because he’d “beat the shit out of her.” So I didn’t, I told him through the door that I couldn’t let him in and I apologized but he’d have to handle this somewhere else (I have a 10 month old baby so I wouldn’t have let him in regardless for my child’s safety.)
Over the past few weeks they’ve been separated and been splitting time with their daughter pretty fairly. Until today, apparently. Her husband had been upset over an argument they got into earlier today so he came to their house (my friend had been staying at the house with their daughter while he stayed at his grandmother’s.) She and their daughter were taking a shower when he showed up, he came in the bathroom, “yanked” their daughter out of the shower, and left with her still naked, no diaper on or anything. Put her in his truck, locked the door and drove off nearly running my friend over on the way out.
Is there anything my friend can do? She’d filed for temporary custody but the paper work had not gone through.
A few minutes later my friend got a phone call from a deputy saying that her husband had called saying that she’d been abusing their daughter which is COMPLETELY untrue. Based on the kind of person he is, this is something her husband would do to make it harder for her to get their daughter back.
Also her husband is emotionally unstable, and I’m not sure HOW much it is, but he’s been involving himself in cocaine and various painkillers and marijuana.

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Father ‘yanks’ daughter away from mother.. they’re separated…?

  • Posted on November 11, 2010 at 1:21 pm

So a good girl friend of mine is going through the beginning stages of a divorce with her husband and they have a 3 year old daughter. Actually tomorrow is their daughter’s 3rd birthday.
The husband has a history of anger and infidelity. They’ve been married two years but have been together for 4 or 5. The mother, my friend, isn’t the nicest cookie in the box either but she’s always been faithful and supportive towards her husband, despite what he’s done to her physically and emotionally. Compared to him she’s a saint. And I’m not saying this because she’s my friend, he’d actually been my friend before she ever was, so I’m not being bias.
A few weeks ago my friend told me she’d been planning to leave her husband because she was fed up with it all, and she’d come to have feelings for his friend and their neighbor. She told the neighbor how she felt and he felt the same way so she’d prepared to tell her husband she wanted a separation. She never did anything physically with the neighbor, they both wanted to wait until she’d left her husband.
A few days later, she and her husband had been arguing so she came over to my house to relax and get away from him until things calmed down. He ended up showing up at my place because he needed to get his credit cards from her, while he was waiting for her to get them out of her wallet, he took her phone saying, “I’ll take this with me too since you can’t answer it and I pay for it.” So she told him she wasn’t giving him his cards until he gave her the phone. He didn’t give her the phone and he left. In the phone were text messages she had sent the neighbor she’d fallen for that gave everything away, that gave away she’d wanted to leave her husband for him in particular. He saw the text messages and immediately showed back up at my house and began pounding on the door. At this point my friend knew he’d seen them and she was already upset and she told me not to let him in because he’d “beat the shit out of her.” So I didn’t, I told him through the door that I couldn’t let him in and I apologized but he’d have to handle this somewhere else (I have a 10 month old baby so I wouldn’t have let him in regardless for my child’s safety.)
Over the past few weeks they’ve been separated and been splitting time with their daughter pretty fairly. Until today, apparently. Her husband had been upset over an argument they got into earlier today so he came to their house (my friend had been staying at the house with their daughter while he stayed at his grandmother’s.) She and their daughter were taking a shower when he showed up, he came in the bathroom, “yanked” their daughter out of the shower, and left with her still naked, no diaper on or anything. Put her in his truck, locked the door and drove off nearly running my friend over on the way out.
Is there anything my friend can do? She’d filed for temporary custody but the paper work had not gone through.
A few minutes later my friend got a phone call from a deputy saying that her husband had called saying that she’d been abusing their daughter which is COMPLETELY untrue. Based on the kind of person he is, this is something her husband would do to make it harder for her to get their daughter back.
Also her husband is emotionally unstable, and I’m not sure HOW much it is, but he’s been involving himself in cocaine and various painkillers and marijuana.

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i want to add to my question, that we have been separated for a while and my daughter is NOT around METH.?

  • Posted on August 15, 2010 at 3:21 pm

My 2 yr old has never ever been around that, and were not even together,but hes not even being a dad, and i was wondering if there was any hope of doing something about it . I have tried talking to him, he gets mad and yells at me. I have suggested rehab, counsling, getting back together and trying to make it work(HELL NO)but something needs to be done and i know it.Thanks for everyones comments they do help.I’m just a single mom trying to make it in this so called “world”and atleast give him some rights to seeing his daughter.Even though shes only 2, shes smart and understands alot more that you and I can imagine.Yes visits are supervised by his mother and I. Again thanks so much—-Aka-Shelley–XOXO

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