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On what grounds can a father take shared custody or full custody of his children from their mother?

  • Posted on April 27, 2011 at 11:21 am

I have a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship. We ended our relationship shortly after the birth of our second child and soon then after I met and married my current husband and have been married to him for the past 11 years. My ex was not actively involved in the childrens life for the first few years. And I had to constantly pursue him so that he spend sometime with them. In 2000 I found out that he had a heroin problem and limited the time he saw them of which was very little because he never came around. as of recently past six years maybe he has been slowly stablelizing himself and married someone himself although she did enforce his visitation of them from time to time during past couple of years he has dissappeared on both me and his wife. But all in all he has been a stable dad for the past 3 years. We have had a freindly relationship between all involved parties as well and I have made it a point to involve him as much as possible in his childrens lifes. As of recently he has been demanding without consideration of how it will disruppt my household and home, (I do have a child with my current marriage, which these two children are a very important part of.) additional time with his children. When I informed him that I could not just say yes take them without seeing what I can do as far as who is going to watch over my younger child during the time that their older brother watches them, he proceeded to call DYFYS (Division of youth and family services) on me making tons of absurd not founded allegations on me. May I add he did these anonymusly however admitted it to my son when he questioned him on it. The only reason he gave to my son for calling Dyfis was that he was tired of me being the only one who has a say in their lifes. The children are angry with him for what he did and are not ready to talk to him although I everyday tell them they should, it has now been three weeks since the allegations where made by him and he has not even as called his kids. He is requesting joint custody in court and is demanding unreasonable times he is requesting he gets them tuesdays and thursday over night during the school year with e/o weekend starting from Friday to Monday. And during school vacation he wants them every other week. I am not against my children spending time with their father in fact I have always encouraged it, but I feel what he is requesting is not reasonable and he doesnt see how for the past 12 years I have build a life and family with them and my younger child and this will cause a huge detremental impact to all my children not just his. I am afraid of what a judge would say because for the latter years he has been a responsible father except for the fact that he never paid me child support. I dont want to keep kids from him I just want to have a stable home where I do not have to be afraid that he will take me to court at a whim just simply because he wants more time with them. Any suggestions can anyone help me.

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Has anyone ever ordered a Court ordered drug test on a X-spouse (shared parenting)?

  • Posted on August 20, 2010 at 5:21 am

My X-husband and I got divorced about 2 years ago. Mainly because he got into drugs. He had passed a drug test though during the divorce (urine test) because he knew it would come up by the judge so he prepared. Now two years later we still have shared parenting–he has drastically dropped weight and I know for 100% he is using again. A friend of his has now come to me with with details stating he and the gf are on heroin, Oxycontin, adderol and percocet. So ASAP I called my attorney to set up a Court Ordered Hair Follicle test to get my Daughter out of his custody since we are shared. Do they normally take them down to just supervised visits if proved guilty??? I am hoping they will force him to get help…because its no longer and addiction with him its an illness. He recently had a heart attack according to family and he is 29! Do you know how much notice they give them before the test….because he is the type to shave all parts of his body to avoid testing. I just hope its not to long for him to quit just for the test. I am really worried for my daughters safety and his health. Especially since my daughter loves him so much. Only kind responses please………

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Bipolar Disorder: The Shared Mental Illness of a Mother and Daughter

  • Posted on January 3, 2010 at 12:21 am

“Annette’s” struggles began at age 14, when she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was at this time, that her mother, also suffering from this illness, committed suicide. When she needed friends the most, she was ostracized by her schoolmates once they learned of her illness. Throughout her life she had the loving support of her father and sisters.

Annette’s 26 year struggle to take control of her illness was sidelined numerous times due to repeated hospitalizations. For this reason, it took her 10 years to earn her Bachelor’s Degree. Her efforts to be independent were also impacted by her illness costing her to lose employment several times.

In 2001, Annette sought help at a community mental health organization. As she started to manage her symptoms, her work hours and responsibilities were increased. She was doing well until 2003 when she relapsed and was hospitalized four times in an eight month period. It was during this period that she learned self-help techniques to gain control of her illness–and she’s never looked back.

Once back at work, she worked part time in the mental health center’s outpatient and day treatment program. Now that she has her life on track, she shares her personal experience with clients and works hard with them to help them understand that they too can gain control of their illness.

In just five years, she went from consumer to a full time mental health worker (case manager) at the community mental health organization. She has been struggling with bipolar disorder for 26 years yet she never gave up hope. Her compassionate and heartfelt message to others with mental illness is, “If I can do it, you can do it too.”

Bipolar disorder is a disorder of the brain that can result in drastic changes in mood and personality. Nearly 6 million adults, roughly 2 and 1/2 percent of the population, suffer from bipolar disorder. Although there is currently no cure for bipolar disorder, it can be treated and individuals suffering from bipolar disorder can lead relatively normal adult lives under the proper care.

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