i have 3children my daughter 3, son almost 2, and a newborn 5months old. For almost a year i have had a bad feeling towards my sisters boyfriend. they always want my daughter to spend the night and not my oldest son. i cannot explain why.. but her boyfriend makes me really uncomfortable. he is an ex heroin addict, i know he used to pick up prostitutes.. so he isnt the best of people. my sister is in love with him and they have been together for 2years..
now to my question.. everytime my daughter spends the night over at their house she comes home red in her vagina and always complaining about her butt hurting.. (she just turned 3 on dec. 5) so its not like i can ask her cause she doesn’t really understand what i mean. i have taken her to her dr. and had her looked at.. even gone as far as getting std check on her.. just in case.
there has never been any real proof, just a bad feeling. my boyfriend, her father, tells me that if i dont approve of him dont send her.. she has spent the night over there maybe 4 times and for the last 6months she hasnt spent the night at all.. i try to convince myself that nothing happened and i am just over reacting.. so i let her spend the night again on monday. again she came home with a bump on her lip and red, along with pain.
i texted my sister “i dont want to ask this but i have to, was your boyfriend alone with her at anytime?” she replied, “no, but why” i didn’t reply immediatly and she texted me again “i think i deserve to know why, you are accusing someone i love very much of something terrible” i texted her back “i have noticed she is red everytime she comes home, and i always have a bad feeling when she is over there” she then texted back and said “it really sucks that you may have just ruined my life in a text” i replied with “wow.”
she later texted me something along the line that she doesn’t want to talk anymore and that i am wrong.. i wrote her back saying that “i would rather be wrong and have said something then to be right and not have said anything.. my children come first no matter what!!”
her boyfriend called my boyfriend and my boyfriend said that he doesn’t have a problem with him at all and i am shouldn’t have said anything..
though my sister and i are pretty close, i am not sad.. i’m mad. i do not feel that i am wrong about him and even if i am, i feel i have the right to ask questions. my sister and i were molested when we were younger and our mom didn’t do anything about it until my sister told other people. i feel like of all people she should understand where i am coming from.
i have been with my boyfriend for almost 4years and though we have been through a lot.. this might be the one thing that breaks us up.
my questions are: was i wrong? and why isn’t my boyfriend on my side about this?
She will NEVER
She will NEVER
She will NEVER
i never had any proof and i already told my sister that she cannot come over anymore.
thank you all for making me feel more confident in my situation. though i love my sister very much and will miss her not being in my childrens and my life, my children are always first!
I just hope my boyfriend will understand where i am coming from
