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4yo step daughter could have hurt our 11 month old son and husband acts like no big deal what do i do?

  • Posted on December 31, 2010 at 3:20 pm

Ok I have a four year old step daughter and six year old step son and my husband and I have an 11 month old together, not to mention I am 18 weeks pregnant with our second together. My husband says that I am crazy and that I try to separate the children which in fact is not my intent but I try to make him understand that I do my best to make everything as equal as possible when they are here but that its not a perfect situation and that the family will always be divided in a way because his kids are here one week and at their mothers the next. my husband does not pay child support (its in the papers) at all and thats why we have them 50 percent of the time but its really bad this way because the kids have no stability. i believe they need to be at both places for longer periods of time or one of us needs full custody. anyways my step daughter who i believe is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong gets into things when she knows she is not supposed to. she got into some school supplies of mine in a shoe box on my desk (she was snooping) and took out 3 safety pins at some point while i was going to the bathroom and dropped them in her brothers play pen. I discovered them thankfully before anything happened but i think it was resentment or jealousy towards the baby and/or acting out for attention that she doesnt get from her dad who has pawned them off on me from day 1. i told my husband that she knew better and he says well maybe she is slow (she was born addicted to meth because of her mother) and needs to be tested. i just find it hard to believe that she is slow considering she does not show signs of developmental delays and also i think her older brother might have put her up to it. he lied to my face when i asked him about it. he said he did not know anything. their dad (my husband) talked to them but my husband insists that i am crazy because i think they are out to get me. am i crazy for even thinking that. i believe that at 4 and 6 almost 5 and 7 that they can be manipulative and that they are not stupid. i am not saying they are out to get me or hurt our son but i do think this possibility should be checked into and also having her tested for developmental delays. but my husband just goes into blaming mode. the girl was spanked for what she did last night and they were both grounded to their rooms for a few hours today after we found out they were both lying and were checked on often. i find something very wrong with the fact that when i asked her why she did it after she finally admitted to me that her only answer was cuz. and then her brother to boldly lie to my face. i think they both need serious counseling and i think my husband is trying to turn the problem around on me and say that i am the problem. the whole situation is bad in of itself and i dont know what to do any more. my husband doesnt even think its a big deal to tell their mother what they did and i think its a serious issue that needs to be nipped in the butt now and he some how thinks that i am a bad person and crazy also cuz they wont tell me the truth but they will him well gee i wonder why!!! they are not my biological children and they know that and they resent being shuffled between two places, what else could it possibly be? and to those of you who say you married the kids too, well thats fine and dandy but my own flesh and blood could have been killed and that makes me not want to have those kids in the house if their father can not control them or get them help. i dont think im crazy for wanting that and i do my best to treat them the same but they need to show me respect too and i feel my husband should be on my side and respect my wishes especially since he leaves those kids with me 95 percent of the time because he works more and when he is home he is watching tv among other things as long as i am here. im fed up what should i do? i dont want something worse to happen next time if those kids dont get help and he realizes the seriousness of this situation.

she and her brother have been warned time and time again that small toys and objects are not for babies. they have rules and boundaries in our house. they knew better unless obviously there is some mental issue with the girl because of her mothers meth use. my husband forces me to pretend that we are a “normal” family and that i am the kids’ mother and he doesnt deal with the real mother..guess who has to do it? ME and i dont think its right. i dont resent the kids. i resent him and the situation he has made for our family. a lot of things changed when he married me he expected me to basically take the total place of their mother and i dont think they like that and thats why i feel they are being resentful….you cant you people see that?!
isnt is amazing that just cuz of the fact that i say they are my step children people automatically assume i dont love them?!!? i am tired of being blamed for shit that just isnt true..unless you are in the situation or a similar situation you just cant really fathom the whole deal completely. our society is really screwed up by the media and old crappy fairy tales like cinderella and hansel and gretel…get real people and grow up…thanks to those who understand my frustration and pain…but im some how a horrible person if i am upset because they are my step children….maybe i should have never mentioned step and you woulda maybe spoke differently….i dont think its fair that people feel they need to be treated better or differently because they are step children who are put upon. BULL SHIT those kids are shown plenty of attention at our household by me…how come none of you think their father has a problem…hes the one that doenst pay attention to them!
isnt is amazing that just cuz of the fact that i say they are my step children people automatically assume i dont love them?!!? i am tired of being blamed for shit that just isnt true..unless you are in the situation or a similar situation you just cant really fathom the whole deal completely. our society is really screwed up by the media and old crappy fairy tales like cinderella and hansel and gretel…get real people and grow up…thanks to those who understand my frustration and pain…but im some how a horrible person if i am upset because they are my step children….maybe i should have never mentioned step and you woulda maybe spoke differently….i dont think its fair that people feel they need to be treated better or differently because they are step children who are put upon. BULL SHIT those kids are shown plenty of attention at our household by me…how come none of you think their father has a problem…hes the one that doenst pay attention to them!

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My 16 year old step daughter is PREGNANT and will not stop drinking gin.?

  • Posted on December 17, 2010 at 1:21 pm

My 16 year old step daughter is PREGNANT and will not stop drinking gin.?
she dropped out to move in with her boyfriend who is 28 years old, she goes out drinking every night with her mates, she smokes a lot, she called me and told me that she was pregnant and did not know who is father the. so, i drove her to the pharmacy without her mums permission to get to the pregnancy test you urinate on the. so, her mum asked me about her and i said she called to say hi. she told me that she has been drinking gin to abort the baby because of her mum, whom is with the church and if word got out, she would be trouble. no. so, i tried to stop her, but she wont listen. i give her 2000 dollars a week to save up for the nbaby, but her mate told me that she has been spending it on gin and crack cocaine. i have no idea what to do. she is bloackmailing me and threatened to tell my wife (her mum) about my affair with her brother, and I am just so in touh rock hard oplace. what shod I d?

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step daughter had probation before and was unsuccessful…now in trouble again?

  • Posted on November 25, 2010 at 1:21 pm

my step daughter had a probation before for marijuana possession, intent to sell and close to a school and child endangerment. Don’t think it was a lot they were misdemeanors. She had probation and did not graduate successfully because of dirty UA? Anyway now she has been caught with cocaine (8 ball…an eighth of an ounce i guess) and a pound of marijuana or a little less. she is from kansas and was caught this time in texas. Also the guy she was with ran. When they catch him will they split the drug charges between them or what. She said they were his drugs and the police found them under his seat but it was her car and they took the car. All i know is what i see on cops so does anybody know if she will get probation again or jail time and will they split the charges?
and she was driving…he was riding passenger seat.

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step daughter and jail?

  • Posted on November 24, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Ok first of all my step daughter is in jail and my husband wants to get her out. It is her second offence first time was a; misdemeanor now eight ball cocaine and pond of pot. We are trying to get the money and I offered my family to help but in turn I said we need some ground rules…he did not go for it. He said what do we have so precious that she cant do….my laptop is not for kids and yes she is 21 but not acting like it. I feel really mad that I try to offer help and set up one freaking rule and he flies off the Handle…forget it… I hope he can get her out on his own because I will tell my family not to help

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Should I step in and say something or just let history repeat itself?

  • Posted on October 29, 2010 at 4:32 pm

My husband’s sister got pregnant at 16 years old. Apparantly she was wild teen, drinking etc leading up to her pregnancy. Their mother was not a shining example of parentings finest. She bought my husband beer at 15. I digress…so now my SIL has a 12 year old daughter. This child wears entire too much makeup, revealing clothing and is basically allowed to do whatever she wants. Actually the 12 year old TELLS her mother what she is going to do, she never actually asks permission. So sunday night my SIL allowed her child to attend a CONCERT and then bailed her out of school early on Monday because she wasn’t feeling well. She dropped her child off at our house because there would be noone home at her house. My husband informs me yesterday that his niece (the 12 yr old) was throwing up and he smelled alcohol on her. He also told me that several weeks ago her mother (my SIL) found wine coolers in the child’s bedroom. Is it just me or is history repeating itself and this child is either headed for teen pregnancy or alcoholism by 16? Do I say something? As a family member I feel I need to do something…what do you all think?
wow Mike do you feel better having called them white trash?
BTW Mike, there was no reason to state the obvious. And as far as my husband is concerned he has MORE than risen above his upbringing and we are actually considered upper middle class by our income and education level. Our 2 year old daughter will NEVER grow up like he and his sister did.

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I have a 3 year old step daughter that my husband has custody of and that I raise?

  • Posted on October 27, 2010 at 4:23 am

I also have a 16-month old boy of me and my husband together, recently my step-daughter has been pooping on the floor. She was playing in it and smearing it on the walls, she has stopped that, but know she is pooping on the floor, and on the driveway outside, and the latest she stood in the middle of my 6 year old step sons bed and peed. She is the middle child and is very jealous of both her younger and older brother. I am so lost on what to do it drives me crazy. She is such a smart little girl, but I do not understand why she is doing this. She was born addicted to drugs and of course thats why my husband has full custody. I can’t help but wonder if the drugs some how have affected her in ways that I am not aware of. Please let me know if anyone has any advice or has been through anything like this.

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Having My Step Brothers Baby!?

  • Posted on October 4, 2010 at 3:24 am

Ok so this might be long but please help me.

I’m 17 (No negative comments please) and pregnant. By my step brother Jared who is 19. We are only related because my mother married his father NO BLOOD at all. We go to school together, and have been since my parents moved here when I was in seventh grade. Three years after that my parents divorced. about a year ago me and Jared started talking more he was the Senior Quarterback and I was sophomore in a higher math than most 16 year olds. It didn’t go farther than friends for awhile, after a big party at the end of that year we talked more and started making out dry humping lol but that was it no sex. After that he when to collage, and I continued high school. And i didn’t see him for a while, until my mother brought me to dinner with her boyfriend who I had never met, and there was Jared sitting at the table, Jared’s dad later broke the news to me and his two sons that him and my mother were going to be married. I was shocked. after i got home my mom said that after the honey moon we would be moving in with them. Great. The wedding was beautiful, mom left for two weeks on her sex vacation. then the movers came, packed up my stuff, and brought it to the biggest house I had ever seen (I had been there before for the party I mentioned earlier). Jared’s father owned his own company, my mother knows how to pick’em. lol!
Jared still lives at home, so he gave me the tour of the huge house. My room is upstairs, His right across the hall, our parents are not even in the same side of the house. We are in the West wing and they are in the East. During the tour I was not sure if he remembered me at all. but then we got to the office ( where we made out) and he said “You should remember this room” I shrugged like I didn’t. He surprised me by putting his hands on my hips and lifting me so I sat on his dads desk and he leaned his lower half in to me ( Position We had been in during the kissing) I could not help but laugh. when I did he stepped back and laughed we continued the tour of the house.
A few days later our parents were out of the house, we were watching TV and he leaned over and kissed me. we made out for a while we only stopped when we heard the garage door open.
A few nights later he came into my room late like 3 in the morning after some collage party he had been to completely drunk. He told me I was beautiful and he could not get me out of his head. I helped him to his bedroom and when I was pulling the covers over him he wrestled me into bed with him we laughed and he started kissing my neck and unbuttoning my shirt. I just laid there and let him kiss my neck and chest. The bra came off, He took off his shirt and we kissed awhile. Until he pasted out. the next morning he ask if we did it. i said no and he was like “good because if we do i want to remember you”. and he kissed my cheek and went to school.
That night I went into his room and things got hot, I gave him oral and he repaid the favor then we had sex, with a condom.(my first time)
The past few months have been like that, Sex every night always with a condom.
About 2 and 1/2 months ago, I was bored playing with the apps on my phone and I came across the calender, It’s summer so i didn’t really cared what the date was it was. The date shocked me I was late about three weeks, never been late before. I stared thinking when my last period was but honestly I couldn’t remember!
Three positive tests later here i am! Help Me.
1) Who do i tell first Jared or my mom. I know
I need to go to the doctor I am getting sick and already showing Serious baby bump I think I’m pretty far a long but I’m scared and have been hiding it for awhile
2) Do I tell my mom it’s Jared’s, Or not I’m keeping it, hands down it’s my baby and I will not skip out on my responsibility.
3)And to all the mothers answering, what would you do if i was your daughter. I don’t want them to spit up me and Jared i Love him do you think they will
HELP ME ANY ANSWER IS APPRECIATED! Advice on being a teen mother too please I am only a Jr., Right now it’s the summer before my Senior year!!! No negativity :-)
Ok thanks to everyone that had serious answers I’m gonna tell Jared tonight, our parents are out of the house so we will have time to go over everything. I don’t think he will talk me out of anything he is a good guy. I have a job and he works for his father the house is huge tons of extra rooms, and space for our son or daughter. My mother loves babys so lets hope she wants a grand baby. I am scared as hell wish me luck

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My step daughter is only 14 and told me all the bad things she’s done. Should I tell her father?

  • Posted on September 29, 2010 at 10:21 pm

My step daughter is only 14 and told me she’s already had sex with more than one man (older men) and that she sometimes drinks and smokes weed. I’m only 10 years older than her and she sees me as a good friend and listens to me (most of the time) so I tried to steer her in the right direction without scolding her but I’m concerned she’s going to end up in trouble if I didn’t get through to her. She’s going through some rough times right now with her mother. Her mother and father don’t talk so he doesn’t know what’s going on but she also told me about her mothers recent alcohol addiction, she physically abuses her daughters, and is dating a man who berates her children. Should I tell her father or should I discreetly get her into counseling. I’m afraid if I tell him he’ll yell at her, embarrass her, and make things worse and also that she may not trust me anymore.
to clear up any confusion, I am married to her father and I am her step mother.
live in the now- that’s terrible advice. Yell at her? Tell her I think she’s a liar? If that’s how I handled things I wouldn’t even know what I know now and she’d have 0% chance of getting help because no one would know what she was going through or doing! Just because i’m her step mom doesn’t mean I have to be mean to her. I have way more pull with her as the friendly step mom than the screaming b*tch she doesn’t want to be around. Also, how could she have nothing to gain from counseling? It’s a safe environment where she can work out some of the emotional problems that are actually causing the bad behaviors…

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Can an ex stepmom get custody of her ex step daughter?

  • Posted on September 2, 2010 at 7:19 am

We live in Indiana, looking for cases to help my sister out getting guardian ship of her ex stepchild father has allowed drug addicted sister to sit and cps took the child out of the home. Mother is in jail for neglect as well.

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How do I get my step daughter off of methadone ?

  • Posted on August 30, 2010 at 1:23 pm

she is 3 1/2 mo. pregnant…the clinic has been brain washing her for years saying she will die without it while the owner of the clinic drives around a Mercedes suv ! I even called the local news stations to have them ivestigated. By the way..this is S.Carolina where the state treasure recently got caught with a crap load of cocaine !!!!! I guess “screw the poor” is their motto !!!

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