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On what grounds can a father take shared custody or full custody of his children from their mother?

  • Posted on April 27, 2011 at 11:21 am

I have a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship. We ended our relationship shortly after the birth of our second child and soon then after I met and married my current husband and have been married to him for the past 11 years. My ex was not actively involved in the childrens life for the first few years. And I had to constantly pursue him so that he spend sometime with them. In 2000 I found out that he had a heroin problem and limited the time he saw them of which was very little because he never came around. as of recently past six years maybe he has been slowly stablelizing himself and married someone himself although she did enforce his visitation of them from time to time during past couple of years he has dissappeared on both me and his wife. But all in all he has been a stable dad for the past 3 years. We have had a freindly relationship between all involved parties as well and I have made it a point to involve him as much as possible in his childrens lifes. As of recently he has been demanding without consideration of how it will disruppt my household and home, (I do have a child with my current marriage, which these two children are a very important part of.) additional time with his children. When I informed him that I could not just say yes take them without seeing what I can do as far as who is going to watch over my younger child during the time that their older brother watches them, he proceeded to call DYFYS (Division of youth and family services) on me making tons of absurd not founded allegations on me. May I add he did these anonymusly however admitted it to my son when he questioned him on it. The only reason he gave to my son for calling Dyfis was that he was tired of me being the only one who has a say in their lifes. The children are angry with him for what he did and are not ready to talk to him although I everyday tell them they should, it has now been three weeks since the allegations where made by him and he has not even as called his kids. He is requesting joint custody in court and is demanding unreasonable times he is requesting he gets them tuesdays and thursday over night during the school year with e/o weekend starting from Friday to Monday. And during school vacation he wants them every other week. I am not against my children spending time with their father in fact I have always encouraged it, but I feel what he is requesting is not reasonable and he doesnt see how for the past 12 years I have build a life and family with them and my younger child and this will cause a huge detremental impact to all my children not just his. I am afraid of what a judge would say because for the latter years he has been a responsible father except for the fact that he never paid me child support. I dont want to keep kids from him I just want to have a stable home where I do not have to be afraid that he will take me to court at a whim just simply because he wants more time with them. Any suggestions can anyone help me.

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What would you like to asMy daughter came to me and asked me to take her to the hospital after smoking pot.?k?

  • Posted on April 1, 2011 at 7:22 pm

We were at a family wedding and my 20 year old daughter and all the young cousins were drinking and having lots of fun….We were all staying at a hotel…so no one was driving. After we got back to the hotel and the parents went to sleep…about 3 housrs after the wedding ended.., my daughter decides to hang out with some of the other 20 – 24 year olds that were at the wedding and smoke pot. After a few hits, my daughter starts to feel really bad. She knocked on my hotel door and said she really felt like she was dying and she wanted to go to the hospital.. She looked terrible…she was gray and shaking. The hospital was 8 minutes away…We started to drive her and on the way she started vomiting severely….non-stop for about ffive minutes, so we then called the ambulance who came and transported her to the hospital. When we got to the hospital her heart rate was over 140….the er doctor said that the pot was either laced with something or that she was severely allergic to the pot. My “little angle” insisted that this was her first time trying it…(not real sure if I believe it).. Anyway, my question is waht to do now? I am grateful that she came to me for help, but also real upset that it happened in the first place…….She goes to community college and lives at home and I do not know if there should be consequences for her trying the pot…..Please let me know your opinions… Thanks

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My daughter came to me and asked me to take her to the hospital after smoking pot.?

  • Posted on March 31, 2011 at 9:23 pm

We were at a family wedding and my 20 year old daughter and all the young cousins were drinking and having lots of fun….We were all staying at a hotel…so no one was driving. After we got back to the hotel and the parents went to sleep…about 3 housrs after the wedding ended.., my daughter decides to hang out with some of the other 20 – 24 year olds that were at the wedding and smoke pot. After a few hits, my daughter starts to feel really bad. She knocked on my hotel door and said she really felt like she was dying and she wanted to go to the hospital.. She looked terrible…she was gray and shaking. The hospital was 8 minutes away…We started to drive her and on the way she started vomiting severely….non-stop for about ffive minutes, so we then called the ambulance who came and transported her to the hospital. When we got to the hospital her heart rate was over 140….the er doctor said that the pot was either laced with something or that she was severely allergic to the pot. My “little angle” insisted that this was her first time trying it…(not real sure if I believe it).. Anyway, my question is waht to do now? I am grateful that she came to me for help, but also real upset that it happened in the first place…….She goes to community college and lives at home and I do not know if there should be consequences for her trying the pot…..Please let me know your opinions… Thanks

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We have custody of our grandgirl. Her father is a deadbeat dad. He is telling me that he is going to take her?

  • Posted on March 15, 2011 at 9:20 am

We have custody of our grand girl. She is 8. We have had her since she was born. Both parents were heroin addicts and she was a heroin baby. Her dad is not supposed to see unless we say it is ok. He got out of prison 2 years ago and has been seeing her. He now thinks that he is going to take her and move. He has an older daughter that he hits, bears and has rammed her her in a wall. He put his hands on me on Sunday. The police took him away and let him go. He has a bad temper. What should we do?

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Should I take the blame for something I didn’t do, if it means I can avoid breaking a promise?

  • Posted on March 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Out of me and my younger sister, I was always the ‘bad’ daughter, because I smoked cigarettes and weed, was addicted to amphetamines and opiods (including heroin, occasionally), was an alcoholic, and most of my friends were dealers. I was like that from about 13 til two months ago, when I suddenly had a change of heart (I’m almost 19 now). I’ve quit all drugs (apart from caffiene and nicotine :P) and quit drinking, cold turkey. I decided to be healthy, and on top of that, to be an honest person, and live in a moral way, so I could start making up for how awful I’d been in the past.

Part of my new life is my decision that I would NEVER break a promise, because I want to be honest. Another thing I decided was that I would do everything I could to avoid causing people harm, and I would protect and look after my family as best I could.

This is my problem: my 14yr old sister (who, as far as my mom knows, is 100% good and has never done anything wrong) came home from school stinking of weed. My mom smelled it, and immediately assumed it was me who had been smoking it, because of my past. I said I hadn’t been smoking weed (which is true), but she doesn’t believe me, and is pulling a huge guilt trip which is making me really upset. My sister told me that not only did she smoke weed today, but that she smokes it very often, and drinks. She’s planning to go out and get drunk and stoned tonight, having lied to my mum about where she’s going. But she made me PROMISE not to tell our parents any of this.

What is the right course of action here? I would hate to break my promise, but on the other hand, I’m afraid she might get hurt or go down the same path I did if I don’t break the promise. And that would break the vow I made to protect my loved ones. Also, it’s unfair that I should be punished for something I didn’t do.
But then again, I feel like it’s my fault that she’s got in with a bad crowd (a lot of her friends do drugs, and she’s started to help her dealer friends measuring, packing and moving the weed on), because of the awful role model set to her. Should I set that right by telling my mom and hoping she will stop my sister ending up like I did? Or should I just take the blame and do nothing?

What is the moral course of action here?

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Should I take the blame for something I didn’t do, if it means I can avoid breaking a promise?

  • Posted on March 11, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Out of me and my younger sister, I was always the ‘bad’ daughter, because I smoked cigarettes and weed, was addicted to amphetamines and opiods (including heroin, occasionally), was an alcoholic, and most of my friends were dealers. I was like that from about 13 til two months ago, when I suddenly had a change of heart (I’m almost 19 now). I’ve quit all drugs (apart from caffiene and nicotine :P) and quit drinking, cold turkey. I decided to be healthy, and on top of that, to be an honest person, and live in a moral way, so I could start making up for how awful I’d been in the past.

Part of my new life is my decision that I would NEVER break a promise, because I want to be honest. Another thing I decided was that I would do everything I could to avoid causing people harm, and I would protect and look after my family as best I could.

This is my problem: my 14yr old sister (who, as far as my mom knows, is 100% good and has never done anything wrong) came home from school stinking of weed. My mom smelled it, and immediately assumed it was me who had been smoking it, because of my past. I said I hadn’t been smoking weed (which is true), but she doesn’t believe me, and is pulling a huge guilt trip which is making me really upset. My sister told me that not only did she smoke weed today, but that she smokes it very often, and drinks. She’s planning to go out and get drunk and stoned tonight, having lied to my mum about where she’s going. But she made me PROMISE not to tell our parents any of this.

What is the right course of action here? I would hate to break my promise, but on the other hand, I’m afraid she might get hurt or go down the same path I did if I don’t break the promise. And that would break the vow I made to protect my loved ones. Also, it’s unfair that I should be punished for something I didn’t do.
But then again, I feel like it’s my fault that she’s got in with a bad crowd (a lot of her friends do drugs, and she’s started to help her dealer friends measuring, packing and moving the weed on), because of the awful role model set to her. Should I set that right by telling my mom and hoping she will stop my sister ending up like I did? Or should I just take the blame and do nothing?

What is the moral course of action here?

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Can I take my daughter somewhere when I’m watching her without permission?

  • Posted on March 3, 2011 at 10:17 am

So I would like some opinions, Male and Female please….My ex (the father of my child) asked this question on yahoo answers, yet he forgot to add certain details. So I’m re-posting his question, and then I will add what he left out.

Him:
Me and My Ex live together still, and are trying to get along for the sake of our daughter. There are no custody or visitation guidelines set in place because we live together and we haven’t even thought about something like that. However, on the weekends she works and I watch my daughter. The last couple of weekend I have wanted to go with my daughter down to my moms which is about 45 Min’s away from where we live. She has repeatedly told me no, and I feel that it is not entirely her decision to make. On the other hand, she can up and leave to her mom’s house which is also about 45Min’s away in the county over, without asking, and stay over there for sometimes, days at a time. Mind you not even so much as a courtesy heads up, she is young in mind and very immature. So my question is really, can I take my daughter to my mom’s without bringing on any lawful issues? Basically, If I wanted to leave on a Friday Morning and return on a Saturday afternoon/evening can she stop me? And if so, how can I make it so that she can’t decipher those types of decisions.

Thanks!

HERE’S HIS LINK: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110208165407AA4KdSw&pa=FZB6NXXtFWMW0cLWweMd88dMBWOug4FEQZXwhuu4nPWh9.V1.Co-&paid=add_watch

My turn, Here is what he left out:
He forgot to mention is his question that, He has been an alcoholic since he was 15 or 16, that he has bad anger issues (ex: Snapping my cell phone in half cause I threatened to call the cops on him) Lying to me about when he’s drunken alcohol, he had his first DUI at age 18, he’s 22 and hasn’t had his license since (nor did he have one to begin with). Within the past year he has driven home drunk several times, and then comes home and lies to me about. He asked me one time if he could take our daughter with him to his moms and I said yes, then later that night he asks me if Im okay with him staying the night at his moms house with our daughter (I have never spent one night away from her, and he had told me that night he would be coming home) I told him Im not comfortable with that, he then tells me that he’s staying anyways, so I tell him no I am not comfortable with that please bring her home, and that if he didn’t want to bring her home I would go down to his moms and pick her up myself, he still refused, so after arguing me crying and then threatening to call the cops on him he finally tells me he’ll come home….So that night he had been drinking beers with his mother (also an alcoholic) and he says he had 1 (which I don’t believe since he’s lied to me about everything since I met him day one, yet I didn’t find out until much much later) and most alcoholic don’t stop at 1 beer. So he still chose to drive home, even after I said I would come get her, and he didn’t want me coming to get her.
Then after that we were supposed to go on vacation with my family, he didn’t ask his boss in time and wasn’t able to go with us, we were gone for 2 weeks, so then when I get back I find out he’s spend almost all of the tax return money (which was supposed to catch us up on our apts rent and our car payment we were behind on) So after arguing he tells me he spend most of it on eating out and he went down to Huntington Beach and went to some bars by himself, his reason why he did this he had a reoccuring dream that I was cheating on him…which I never have even being broken up for the past 5 months I still have not even gone on a date with anyone, kissed anyone, let alone sleep with anyone, where as within the first 3 months of our relationship he cheated on me with his ex (and guess what he was “drunk” and she manipulated him) and then to find out 2 years later when his ex tells me he slept with her in the back of his car (the car my mother bought him) I confront him about it, he lies and said that she was lying (even after I heard him talk with her about it, lying to her saying he was never in a relationship with me at that point) I confront him again and he denies it for another whole year.

He has also done drugs in the past as well, (speed, coke, e, and god only knows what else) and at one point we had roommates who were snorting hydrocodone (I was not aware of this either, til later) and he was buying it off them.
I have only ever tried weed, and if you ask why did I pick someone like this, I didn’t know until much later, and when we started dating I thought the drinking was a teenage phase, and by the time I realized it wasn’t, it was too late (pregnant)

So am I wrong to not let our daughter go with him?

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Can he take my daughter when she is born?

  • Posted on March 1, 2011 at 1:20 am

I live with my mother because my babys daddy broke up with me and kicked me out of his house a couple of months ago ,I work everyday saving every dollar. So my ex is saying that he is not going to pay child support. And now he is saying that because I have a record he is going to take her away from me. I was convicted of possession of meth when I in 2005 when I was a minor and I have been clean since then. Can he really take her away from me because of that? I live with my mom and her husband, his kid and my little sister. Can he take her because of that? It is clean enviorment and safe. A nice home. I am not sure that I want to give her his last name since I will never have his last name and she WILL be living with me, he says if I dont give her his last name then he will take me to court for that too. Can they make me give him his last name? Do I have to call him when I have her or can I wait until she is born? I am 31 weeks pregnant and live in colorado. Please help!

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newborn baby has thrush on her bum – how long does it take to clear? tips to make nappy change less painful?

  • Posted on February 12, 2011 at 5:24 am

My 7 day old daughter has thrush on her bum. Its very raw and very sore for her. She screams at every nappy change, especially if she does wees while her nappy is off. I think it must sting like crazy. I use huggies nappies and i am just using warm water and a very soft cloth on her bottom, i also am not wiping, i just sort of dab it. I dry her bum afterwards and then i apply the cream my midwife prescribed for her. We started using the cream yesterday and she said to use it at every nappy change for 3 or 4 days, however its the end of day 2 (well we started using it yesterday afternoon) and i havnt noticed any change, it definately hasnt got any better yet. I give her as much time as i can without a nappy on but she is usually screaming and crying that its hard to settle her without her nappy on. I have stopped drinking orange juice and eating acidic foods to see if that helps. Also she is fully breastfed. So if anyone has any help that would be great
Oh.. its a diaper. We call them nappies. Im from one of those ‘weird’ countries that put a ‘u’ in everything too. Labour, honour, colour etc.

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How long it will take for you to give up?

  • Posted on February 2, 2011 at 3:23 am

After the divorce, her teenage daughter became increasingly rebellious.
It culminated late one night when the police called to tell her that she had to come to the police station to pick up her daughter, who was arrested for drunk driving.
They didn’t speak until the next afternoon.
Mom broke the tension by giving her daughter a small gift-wrapped box.
Her daughter nonchalantly opened it and found a small piece of a rock.
She rolled her eyes and said, “Cute Mom, what’s this for?”
“Here’s the card,” Mom said.
Her daughter took the card out of the envelope and read it. Tears started to trickle down her cheeks.
She got up and gave her mom a big hug as the card fell to the floor.
On the card were these words:
“This rock is more than 200 million years old. That’s how long it will take before I give up on you.”

Hope you like it!
Star it please. Thanks

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