if you want back story here is my last question, it’s kinda long.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq6Ox6230N0Ktt9pTrc5ll3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091229195801AASrNVv
anyways i talked to her about the problems her drinking has caused.
poor judgment, being at the bar instead of with family on holidays, the poor example it sets for my kids…
she blamed me of course. she said i was judging her and i have no place to judge her for what she does on her free time. she even said my husband and i drink in front of our kids like on thanksgiving. well yeah, i had a glass of wine. but she spent thanksgiving at the bar and didn’t show up until hours after the meal… big difference. i am somewhat familiar with an alcoholic deflecting onto others.. she blamed everyone but herself, talked bad about everyone in my husband’s family (who by the way are wonderful people) so she didn’t look so bad… and then proceeded to ask for my daughter this weekend. -this was the basis of this talk in the first place. she can’t have either of my kids like this..
so from any of your experience, is there anything else i can or should do to make myself clear to her or is it a lost cause? part of me telling her about her problem was also so i could absolve myself of any guilt if/when she kills someone while driving drunk.. so should i just leave it at that and wait for her to come to her senses someday before i talk to her again? i’m just not sure, i feel like i owe her something, but at the same time i know i owe her nothing and that she will make her own bed.. i just don’t know.. my husband is ready to write her off. i don’t blame him and i almost agree. i just want to know i have done all i could.
your experience with an alcoholic is appreciated. thank you.