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On what grounds can a father take shared custody or full custody of his children from their mother?

  • Posted on April 27, 2011 at 11:21 am

I have a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship. We ended our relationship shortly after the birth of our second child and soon then after I met and married my current husband and have been married to him for the past 11 years. My ex was not actively involved in the childrens life for the first few years. And I had to constantly pursue him so that he spend sometime with them. In 2000 I found out that he had a heroin problem and limited the time he saw them of which was very little because he never came around. as of recently past six years maybe he has been slowly stablelizing himself and married someone himself although she did enforce his visitation of them from time to time during past couple of years he has dissappeared on both me and his wife. But all in all he has been a stable dad for the past 3 years. We have had a freindly relationship between all involved parties as well and I have made it a point to involve him as much as possible in his childrens lifes. As of recently he has been demanding without consideration of how it will disruppt my household and home, (I do have a child with my current marriage, which these two children are a very important part of.) additional time with his children. When I informed him that I could not just say yes take them without seeing what I can do as far as who is going to watch over my younger child during the time that their older brother watches them, he proceeded to call DYFYS (Division of youth and family services) on me making tons of absurd not founded allegations on me. May I add he did these anonymusly however admitted it to my son when he questioned him on it. The only reason he gave to my son for calling Dyfis was that he was tired of me being the only one who has a say in their lifes. The children are angry with him for what he did and are not ready to talk to him although I everyday tell them they should, it has now been three weeks since the allegations where made by him and he has not even as called his kids. He is requesting joint custody in court and is demanding unreasonable times he is requesting he gets them tuesdays and thursday over night during the school year with e/o weekend starting from Friday to Monday. And during school vacation he wants them every other week. I am not against my children spending time with their father in fact I have always encouraged it, but I feel what he is requesting is not reasonable and he doesnt see how for the past 12 years I have build a life and family with them and my younger child and this will cause a huge detremental impact to all my children not just his. I am afraid of what a judge would say because for the latter years he has been a responsible father except for the fact that he never paid me child support. I dont want to keep kids from him I just want to have a stable home where I do not have to be afraid that he will take me to court at a whim just simply because he wants more time with them. Any suggestions can anyone help me.

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Should I allow my kids, ages 10 and 12, to visit their father who is currently under house-arrest?

  • Posted on March 19, 2011 at 1:22 am

My ex-husband is serving 36 days under house arrest and another 10 in jail for a second drunk-driving charge and a hit & run accident. He wants his regular visitation, which is every other weekend, but I’m hesitant because he shows no remorse for what he’s done wrong and he still seems unstable.
My daughter refuses to spend the night there although she will see him during the day. My son is okay about going. My ex-husband called me today and threatened that I had better not call the courts to check on his driving status. I don’t care what he thinks but I am concerned with sending the kids into such a volatile situation.

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My husband’s ex is trying to be a control freak about their daughter who lives with he and I.?

  • Posted on March 8, 2011 at 11:22 pm

My step-daughter moved in with us 2 years ago because her mother couldn’t handle her. She was sneaking out (age 11), drinking, skipping school, and hanging with a much older crowd. Since she’s been with us, she’s on the honor roll, misses school only when she’s sick or it’s approved, is popular at school and we have a great relationship with her.

Her mother recently moved back from TN and is now trying to control everything my step-daughter does from 150 miles away! Yesterday was her parent-teacher conference which she insisted on attending. Fine, great!! When I got there, she wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise, was rude to both the teacher and myself, and insisted that the teacher call ONLY HER with any problems!! She said her schedule is more flexible! SHE”s 150 miles away!!

I work 10 minutes from the school and my boss would let me take care of anything that needs to be taken care of!
She’s driving me insane and I don’t know what to do about her.
My husband does have physical custody.

As for trying to keep her mother involved, she refuses to have anything to do with either my husband or myself. She does not feel that working with us is in the child’s best interest. She has emotional problems and I’m sure that she does hate the fact that her daughter is not with her. I am not unsympathetic towards that fact, I’m just tired of raising her daughter and being treated like poo.
She also refuses to pay any child support and is living with her father rent free.
(she’s 31)

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Alcoholic husband..do they ever actually keep their promises..I don’t want to get hurt again!!?

  • Posted on March 2, 2011 at 12:17 pm

so me and my husband have been married for almost two years. when I met him he had a drinking problem. when I got married and got pregnant things only got worse. long nights of sitting up when he wouldn’t come home since he was out at bars with his friends, money missing, coming home from work to a passed out husband, it has been a long road. last summer we had split up after he had left to supposively go to iowa where his mother is to look for work and got incacerated after 2 days of being there for public intox. at that time I had made up my mind and told myself i was done! well six months went by and he started doing good. i talked to him everyday and he got a job and started sending money and i let him come back home. since january he hasn’t drank but I could never give hima fresh start and always brought up the past. his dad who is an alcoholic is on person though I never trusted him around becuase he just was a bad influence on him and I knew what would happen. well off of a sudden he started sneaking around my back and started talking to him and having him meet him up at his work. I would get mad and we’d fight, so bad that I’d even come up to his work starting things. I just never trusted him and couldn’t let the past go. well come to find out my husband started talking to another girl and I’d hear accusations that he was wanting to leave me, that he just couldn’t take the fighting anymore. I just had a hard time, to me I felt I gave you all this time to straighten up and over the years I took so much emotional abuse that my mind was so messed up and I just couldn’t trust him, where was my time?? well my mom and dad start hearing the accusations and I begin to hear more and more that he just wasn’t in to me and didn’t want to be with me so we split up. 2 months has went by and he is now begging me to give him another chance and to try to work things out if I can give him that fresh start but I just don’t know what to say? all these accusations that were made, my parents hate him! how could it ever work,could they ever forgive him?? we are getting divorced no matter what, but what can I say to him. he calls me crying everyday, he sends money to help support our daughter, he isn’t drinking, nor is he trying to see anyone else right now. I also don’t know what was true, al these accusations of things he supposively said and did, I feel like how could he do this after so much I went through with him and tried to be there and stay with him. I just don’t know, so far all I told him is that right now we should be friends. since we spilt up I had to move back in with my parents and if they even had a clue I was talking to him they would probably disown me as their daughter and want us out! I can’t jeopardize a roof over my head right now nor my relationship with them… I’m just so confused and son’t know where to go from here????

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Alcoholic husband, do they ever actually keep their promises?

  • Posted on March 1, 2011 at 2:17 pm

so me and my husband have been married for almost two years. when I met him he had a drinking problem. when I got married and got pregnant things only got worse. long nights of sitting up when he wouldn’t come home since he was out at bars with his friends, money missing, coming home from work to a passed out husband, it has been a long road. last summer we had split up after he had left to supposively go to iowa where his mother is to look for work and got incacerated after 2 days of being there for public intox. at that time I had made up my mind and told myself i was done! well six months went by and he started doing good. i talked to him everyday and he got a job and started sending money and i let him come back home. since january he hasn’t drank but I could never give hima fresh start and always brought up the past. his dad who is an alcoholic is on person though I never trusted him around becuase he just was a bad influence on him and I knew what would happen. well off of a sudden he started sneaking around my back and started talking to him and having him meet him up at his work. I would get mad and we’d fight, so bad that I’d even come up to his work starting things. I just never trusted him and couldn’t let the past go. well come to find out my husband started talking to another girl and I’d hear accusations that he was wanting to leave me, that he just couldn’t take the fighting anymore. I just had a hard time, to me I felt I gave you all this time to straighten up and over the years I took so much emotional abuse that my mind was so messed up and I just couldn’t trust him, where was my time?? well my mom and dad start hearing the accusations and I begin to hear more and more that he just wasn’t in to me and didn’t want to be with me so we split up. 2 months has went by and he is now begging me to give him another chance and to try to work things out if I can give him that fresh start but I just don’t know what to say? all these accusations that were made, my parents hate him! how could it ever work,could they ever forgive him?? we are getting divorced no matter what, but what can I say to him. he calls me crying everyday, he sends money to help support our daughter, he isn’t drinking, nor is he trying to see anyone else right now. I also don’t know what was true, al these accusations of things he supposively said and did, I feel like how could he do this after so much I went through with him and tried to be there and stay with him. I just don’t know, so far all I told him is that right now we should be friends. since we spilt up I had to move back in with my parents and if they even had a clue I was talking to him they would probably disown me as their daughter and want us out! I can’t jeopardize a roof over my head right now nor my relationship with them… I’m just so confused and son’t know where to go from here???? he has made so many promises in the past and broke everyone of them!!!

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Isn’t it kind of sad that the media goes after politician’s kids to make a point for their side?

  • Posted on February 14, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Allegedly Biden’s daughter did cocaine. And some in the media can’t wait to sink their teeth into it.

Reminds me of the ridiculous media treatment of Bristol Palin.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/03282009/news/nationalnews/friend_of_bidens_daughter_shopping_tape__161772.htm

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/03/world-exclusive-vice-president-biden’s-daughter-caught-cocaine-scandal

(Left liked to use Bristol to target Palin’s views on sex ed and questioned Sarah Palin’s parenting ability…now the right likes to use this to target Joe Biden’s “drug czar” name and personal character…)

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Should I not allow my 2 teenage daughters (15 and 16 years old) to lock their rooms?

  • Posted on February 13, 2011 at 1:21 pm

I used to allow this until their was evidence of marijana, tobacco and possibly cocaine use.
I think I have a right to not allow them to lock the doors as I seriously believe they are at risk of damaging themselves.
They are aggressive and hostile almost all the time. They lie and steal regularly….what do you think?

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district attorney not doing their job in prosecuting.?

  • Posted on January 26, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I need some advice on what i should do on making sure that the DA is doing their job to the fullest, to get an appropriate conviction.
My daughters boyfriend killed her driving drunk a yr ago. He is still not in prison or hasn’t been convicted yet. His attorney is pretty much giving us an option as to his punishment, which is SO WRONG. We are trying to find an attorney to assist us in making sure that the DA is in fact doing their job. I am kinda lost on the type of attorney I should be looking for.
If anyone has any ideas or advice, please let me know asap. He has court in the morning only to have it reset again, while he is continuing to drink and live it up while we are still in so much pain.
By the way, we are in Liberty Texas and county of Liberty. This is the last time I will ever be able to do anything for my baby girl. All answers are so much appreciated.
Thank You JC!

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My best friend’s husband endangered their daughter?

  • Posted on January 23, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Tonight while I was at work, my best friend Jen called me. Crying, she said that husband Tom had gotten violent. He was drunk (he’s an alcoholic), and he called their two-year old daughter Ashley over to him. She wouldn’t go (surprise, he’s a dead beat dad, he’s never around and when he is, he’s drunk and playing games on his computer), and he got angry and went to tell her that when someone calls her, she must answer. Jen isn’t sure what happened right after that, but she walked into Ash’s bedroom in time to see him slam Ash onto her bed. Ash wasn’t hurt, but she was crying.

Jen won’t call the cops because he’ll deny everything and then probably take it out on her. I think he’s hit her before, but she won’t admit it.

Is there anything I can do to help besides pray? She has a key to my apartment if she needs to lock herself in it, and she knows that. If I call the cops and tell them, I’m afraid of what he’ll do to ME. What can I do?! I am so afraid for my girls!
I am Ashley’s godmother. I have sworn before God to protect this child along with her parents, and now I am at a loss because it’s a parent she has to be protected from. My first goddaughter was murdered in march, so I feel strongly about my role. I know that I have no rights to this family, but I love my girls. I will NOT but out because inaction leads to devastation. I need advice!
Tom does work. She did not leave Ashley in the care of a “drunken lounge lizzard”, she was in the kitchen when it happened. And I will support her no matter what, she is NOT a loser!!

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Pressing Charges to Someone that Serves Alcohol to Minors in their Home….State of Indiana!?

  • Posted on January 23, 2011 at 1:25 am

I reside in Chicago, IL but lived in Indiana forever. My daughter who 17 has a childhood best friend who is 16 that is still in Indiana. I know the mom well and she is a party girl and skank. Yet, she is professional and I thought she was different at home. She has 6 children and is not involved in their lives like I am in my children’s life. So, I never questioned when my daughter spent the night there.

I just found out from my oldest daughter that my 17 year old called her drunk….drunk dialing. I confronted my 17 year old daughter and she began to cry hard. I found out this drinking started at their house when she was about 14!!!! It has been a long night for me. I told she is not to associate with them any longer, she is to remove them from Facebook, MySpace, and not to call them because I would be checking the phone bill. I hate to ruin a relationship that has been this long when the other mother is buying them alcohol. My daughter told me the other mother asked what they wanted and she would go to the liquor store and get what they wanted. After more interrogation the mom and her fiance’ had a fight New Years Eve and everyone was drunk. She packed my daughter and her 6 children in her van and drove them to a hotel! The mom was drunk and driving with my daughter. I did ream my daughter for not calling me to come get her!

So, what can I do? Do I go to the police and file a report and risk getting my daughter in trouble? She did drink it and could have said no. Could my daughter get in trouble?
Do I report the mom to Child Protective Services? So, then I wonder if the mom has to be caught in the act before the police or CPS do anything? Should I let sleeping dogs lie and not allow my daughter back to their home?

Frantic Mom!!!

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