Here’s a little history,am hoping someone can help me and help me to make sense of everything.I am 30 years old.I have a 13 year old daughter that my father and my step-mother have custody of and have had since my daughter was 2 months old.I had lost custody because when I was 17 and living with my mother,my mother screamed at my baby,so badly I screamed at my mother that threw me out.I was still in school,my mother had forced me to marry at 15 since my mother didn’t want me and also too,to escape abuse. My daughter’s father had walked out on us,and so I had noway to take care of a baby or anywhere else to go. My father and step-mother took in my daughter.Well my step-mother’s son when I was 14 raped me ,he died from an OD about 9 years ago,and when I told my family about it,my step mother that was in denial about it all, she threw me out and hasn’t allowed my dad to have a relationship with me and that includes not allowing me there to see my daughter,which I have visitation rights to.
Every time I talk to my daughter on the phone, she is very nasty to me,to the point I cry every time I hang up with her. My daughter has said horrible rumors about me,which aren’t true,that either my father or step-mother are telling her.I have told my daughter, I plan to go to court to make them enforce visitation,because now I am in a financial situation to be able to do so,where in the past I wasn’t..My daughter has said, she wants nothing to do with me and I know it’s from them turning her against me.
Well a month ago,my mother that lives with my brother,his wife and 2 kids,kept screaming and cussing my 2 year old nephew,telling him she hates him and hitting him over and over just for staring at her.She went on a good 10 minutes screaming and hitting him for that,which I finally talked her into walking away,that my husband heard it on speaker phone and my husband told me,we need to call social services. I didn’t want to go that route, but I have seen my mom be down right mean to my nephew once before and had tried talking sense into her and it did no good.
My husband brought up a point to me that,if I didn’t call social services,that if anything bad happened to my nephew,ie, mental problems or to be hurt physically hurt, that we’d never forgive ourselves.So we called social services and the social worker that went there to investigate the situation,couldn’t find anything wrong because they waited a week to respond after us reporting it.Anyhow, the social worker gave the time frame it had been reported and infurred so many things,my mother knew it was me.She changed her phone number,has diwonwed me and I called my father today and he said he is disowning me too because supposedly my daughter got a 15 page letter of me bad mouthing my father and I truly haven’t written anything,which leads me to believe,my mother had to of done it.
She has turned my siblings against me and apparently my father even more so and I sit here and cry,wondering where I went wrong.When I tried to explain to my dad there was never any letter from me,he got nasty and said,your whole family disowns you.He said,that’s just the way life goes. I am sad because my daughter hates me due to what my father has allowed my step-mom to do for 13 years.They have never allowed my daughter to write or call me.
You know I have forgiven my family for a lot.My mother and father knew my grandfather was sexually abusing me as a child and never did anything about it.My dad that use to be an alcoholic, beat my siblings and I daily and my mother left us kids and my dad when I was 11 to be with the man she had an affair with. There was never any discipline as far as them allowing my 2 older brothers to beat me daily,to the pont of breaking my bones, almost putting my eye out,or beating me daily and leaving bruises. However,I am not angry because I realize they’ve got their share of problems, but I am truly sad,because although I have forgiven everything and never once threw their faults in their face, they’re so hurtful to me,and I wish I knew what more to do.
Yes it’;s a toxic relationship that I should let go of,but is so hard when they’ve got my child. By the way, the judge did a court order for my dad to get custody,I fought it for 6 years but the judge denied me getting her back, due to the fact I wasn’t making enough money to support us both. After 6 years, I thought I could wait for my daughter to go to court and tell the judge herself and fight for better visitation if she wanted to stay there.However,I never would’ve thought in a million years they would not allow me there and to have turned her against me.Please someone can you offer good advice?Thank you
wow,I have never in my life done drugs,nor did I allow for him to get custody but the judge granted him the custody. Wow, so judgmental and quick to throw insults to me,when sometimes it’s cards that are delt at you.And maybe my life did suck,but I am improving it but thank you for such insults and judgment
