You are currently browsing all posts tagged with 'truth'

what do think will prevail, the truth or a better lawyer?

  • Posted on August 9, 2010 at 4:32 pm

I’m in the middle of a custody battle with my ex. He currently has custody of our daughter due to my battle with alcoholism. I’ve now been sober for two years. He continues to drink, not hold a job and live off of the system. My life has completely changed. I have held my current job for a year and a half, live in a home which my long term fiance’ and I own and pay my bills. Unfortunately, he has a good lawyer and family who will lie for him and attest to his being a great father.

  • Share/Bookmark

The Truth about Stress and Hypnotherapy for Stress Management

  • Posted on January 3, 2010 at 10:24 am

How often do you find yourself wondering what is the best possible way to reduce the stress in your life? You are just an average person with a normal life, decent work hours, and a family to care for; yet you can’t help but court stress in every aspect of your life. Be it presentations at work, failing to be at your daughter’s fancy dress competition, or forgetting your anniversary…you seem to be meeting stress at every corner. And you have been spending hours mulling over what is the best possible way to reduce stress – have you ever thought of trying hypnotherapy for stress management?

Stress has slowly seeped into every aspect of our life, and we often find ourselves blaming the fast paced life, the rat race and anything else that we can think of. We often think of stress as a negative force, something which will lead to nervous breakdowns and heart attacks. While I counsel my clients during hypnotherapy for stress management sessions, I often tell them that they should learn to look at stress not just as a negative factor; the truth is that stress can be a positive force as well. Don’t believe me? Well, look at this way…it is stress which drives us to do better, to put in our best efforts into anything we do. It is stress that pushes us to work towards our goals or helps us get out of a rut. We often increase our stress by stressing about stress! Sounds confusing, well it is.

Stress as a force confounds our brain, and hinders our ability to think straight. That’s why we end up doing stupid things when we are stressed. Have you ever found yourself wondering why you fought with your spouse/partner while at work; the issue that you fought upon seems trivial to you now. This is the classic byproduct of stress; most people who are stressed out tend to do things without thinking them through, their thinking abilities are blocked either by anxiety, fear or confusion. It’s like the wiper on your mind’s windshield suddenly fails to function. Hypnotherapy for stress management enables you to understand stress for what it is; by working on the rules of relaxation and positive reinforcements, hypnosis helps you get to a calmer state of mind where you begin to see things clearly again.

Hypnotherapy for stress management also makes you realize the cause of the stress and slowly nudges you towards dealing with those causes. With the help of techniques and auto suggestion, it instructs your subconscious mind to deal with a situation better. Let’s face it, we live in a very hectic world and all of us seem to be running around for something or the other. More often than not, we fail to take out time for ourselves from our busy lives. We don’t find the time to relax, to put up our feet up and forget every care in the world. We get stuck into a routine which seems impenetrable. The first way that hypnotherapy for stress management helps you during stressful times is that it provides the perfect opportunity to relax. It lets you drift into a comfort zone where you rediscover yourself; the hypnosis guides you towards using stress as a positive force in your life. It also helps you remember things that make you happy, and helps your mind retreat to these happy images and places every time you are negatively stressed out.

The antidote to stress is relaxation; and hypnotherapy for stress management gives you the perfect excuse to relax. So go ahead, they hypnotherapy and relax away your stresses!

  • Share/Bookmark

Ways To Get Back With Your Ex When it Looks Impossible

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 10:40 pm

When all looks lost and you’re trying to figure out how to get back with your ex, one of the things you need to hold onto is that 95% of all relationships that look as if they’re well and truly over, need not be.

Don’t fret and bear in mind that if one person believes that the relationship is still worth giving one more try then that is all it takes to revive it.

First is to break all contact with them for several months. This will allow them to think things over and they also wont feel pressured about making their decision.

Often times in the heat of the breakup things get said and positions get taken that given time, are soon relinquished as reasoning takes over. So if you want to get to the heart of how to get back with your ex then seriously, give yourself and your ex some time.

Don’t keep on pushing your ex to discuss the matter with you until they are ready to. They might feel smothered about the issue and will most likely leave for good. Give them some space and plenty of time.

If he is out dating someone else, just be confident that they are on a rebound and it can’t last. They just want to convince themselves that the relationship is through. That is not necessarily true.

It is a known statistical fact that rebound relationships are full of complications so they rarely work. People on the rebound are likely not over their ex and still have feelings for them. So dont worry if they are dating someone else.

The truth is getting your ex back is more about the two of you than anyone else, so make sure that you keep on top of your appearance, you’re not doing anything to alienate your ex and that you’re appearing in control and pretty soon you will have stopped wondering how to get your ex back, because they’ll be back with you.

How To Save A Long Distance Relationship? Watch a video that shows you the mistakes you should avoid when trying to get your lover back. Visit the website below. How To Save A Long Distance Relationship

Article Source: Ways To Get Back With Your Ex When it Looks Impossible

  • Share/Bookmark

Tips on Saving your Marriage

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 10:40 pm

“Help save marriage from falling apart!” comes the cry from many who see their marriage sinking quickly. You have been watching the ship you are on sinking but haven’t figured out what to do to stop it. If you aren’t ready to see your marriage sink into the abyss, you need help save marriage advice. You need an S.O.S. You need to learn to sacrifice for your marriage, you have to learn to open up and communicate, and you have to learn to simplify your lives so things aren’t so complicated.

Sacrifice:

Many times those who are wanting help save marriage are really more interested in trying to get the other person to fix their problems. If you are looking at the other person as the root of the problem, take a close look at yourself. It may very well be that the other person is causing all the problems but you need to make sure that you aren’t making matters worse.

Most of the time marriages fall apart because one or both of the people start getting selfish and feel that the world revolves around them. The truth is that if that is your perspective, the marriage is doomed. The two of you are supposed to be as one and this can not be if you are only looking out for #1. You have to be able to sacrifice parts of yourself for the existence of the marriage. It takes the two of you realizing that if you want to be as one, you may have to sacrifice yourself. The choice is simple, live as one or live as two people.

Open Up:

There is a tendency that many people have to bottle things up when we are stressed. This isn’t healthy for any individual and it especially isn’t healthy for a marriage. When contents are under pressure for too long and that pressure grows, things are likely going to build up too much. When thing build up too much they may reach the point that there is an explosion.

Remember you were hearing fireworks going off when you first kissed. Encourage open communication in your relationship. Lay your cards on the table and talk things through. Dont wait for that time where it is too late to patch things up because you didnt sit down and discuss you problems. Dont put this off and this will save your marriage.

Simplify:

We have a tendency to make things a lot more complicated than what they need to be. We make big issues out of little ones and mountains out of mole hills. Blowing things out of proportion is something that many who need help save marriage will do that makes things worse than they need to be.

Think about what the qualities that you look for in a partner. Dont make it too complicated and get to the bottom of your issues.

Maybe you have a lot of demands. Perhaps you are hard to please or expect too much from your partner.

Take a step back and consider that you may be making things more complicated than they need to be. Simplify and you just may be able to help save marriage.

Should I Get Back With My Ex Tips? Watch a video that shows you the mistakes you should avoid when trying to get your ex back. Visit the website below. Should I Get Back With My Ex Tips

Article Source: Tips on Saving your Marriage

  • Share/Bookmark

Tips to Win Her Back

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 10:40 pm

So here you are trying to woo your woman after you hurt her. Truth is, maybe she shouldn’t be with someone like you. You should give her a good reason to take you back. Unless you admit you were wrong and apologize, then you might lose her forever.

Here are tips to get your woman back:

1) Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.

2) Treat women differently. Be chivalrous. Women like it when you are a true gentleman and treat them like royalty. If you do it right you might win them back. Don’t overdo it and be real. Smart women know if you are faking it and tell each other. This might ruin your reputation with them.

3) Don’t be too proud. This will definitely help if you want to get back together.

4) Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isnt. The only persons opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. Youre selling and youre trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.

5) Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well. She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.

6) Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends then you have won the major part of the battle. If you try and get ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?

7) Show her that you have changed for the better. Your actions will speak louder than your words.

8) Take care you don’t commit the same mistakes again in the future. Otherwise, there is a slim chance of winning her back.

Sleeping With Ex Questions? Watch a video that shows you the mistakes you should avoid when trying to get your ex back. Visit the website below. Sleeping With Ex Questions

Article Source: Tips to Win Her Back

  • Share/Bookmark

Trying To Get Back Together With Ex Again

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 9:35 pm

You are thinking of getting you ex back and give it one more try. Dont assume that things will be similar like the last time. And you thought everything was going strong but that was not the case.

Something went wrong and either you were too late in reacting to correct the situation or you were just blind to the problems. Was it something that you did that caused it to fall apart or was it something both of you did? What was it that you could have done to change things? Did you know that things needed to be addressed but you never got around to it? These are only some of the questions you need to be asking if you want to get back together with ex and are sure you want to try it again.

There is a quote that many people throw around that many people attribute to Albert Einstein. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results .” There is a lot of truth to this, especially when there is a marriage or relationship that is needing to be rebuilt and they want to get back together with ex.

People want to get back together with their ex and pick up where they left off. They fail to identify the reason for the break up and the issues which led to the end of the relationship. If the problem is left unresolved then dont expect things to work out in the end.

Attempt to fix whatever problems you’ve had in the past that caused a lot of misunderstandings in your relationship. Consider couples counselling or talk to the experts just to correct issues that you had which were unresolved.

If it is the other person in the relationship who had some issues that caused the relationship to end. Make sure that they have taken credible steps to fix the issues. When you are wanting to get back together and they haven’t done anything to fix things on their end then you will be dealing with it all over again.

If the two of you had issues together that tore you apart, get some relationship counseling to try and work things out and get back together with ex. Don’t try to jump back into things when you will likely only be trying to jump back out again. Don’t try getting back together if you are going to run into the same problems again.

If you realize that you are still in love with each other then do everything possible to make things work by correcting the mistakes youve had previously. When left unresolved you will just subject yourself to a never ending cycle of heartaches and pain.

Planning to win back your ex takes a lot of work. Correct all the mistakes made in the past first to guarantee that you will have a happier and healthier relationship that will last forever.

Poems To Get Your Ex Back Soon? Watch a video that shows you the mistakes you should avoid when trying to get your lover back. Visit the website below. Poems To Get Your Ex Back Soon

Article Source: Trying To Get Back Together With Ex Again

  • Share/Bookmark

Ask WHAT Instead of WHY

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 12:35 pm

Every now and then life throws us a curve-ball. This is unavoidable even for the most grounded and successful people. There are a number of causes of frustration and unhappiness, and one of these is the expectation that ‘everything should always go exactly as I want it to go’. Books on the subject of the Law of Attraction would have you believe that you CAN have everything your way all of the time, I’ve never seen this proven beyond a shadow of a doubt.

This is not to say that I’m not a fan of the Law of Attraction; on the contrary, I’m a big fan and I use the principles in my every day life. For the most part I am happy. I’m able to create the things I want and I’m living my life on purpose. But like everybody, I have days where I just want to cry out with frustration. We all have those days. The key to getting through them is to let go of your attachment to things being ‘just so’ all of the time.

One of the most common questions we can ask ourselves when things aren’t going quite as we had planned is ‘Why?’ This question can often leaves us feeling stuck and defeated, because the answer is usually something we don’t want to hear or acknowledge. The ‘why’ question very often finishes with the phrase ‘I don’t know.’ If they are not used correctly, ‘why’ questions can exacerbate the existing problem rather than assisting us to generate a solution. The ‘why’s are particularly prevalent among my weight loss clients. Here are some of the more disempowering ‘why’ questions:

* Why am I doing this?;
* Why did he do that to me?;
* Why me????’;
* Why Can’t I lose this weight?

When you ask these kinds of questions you often end up going around in circles. Many of my clients become stuck in victim mentality. They hang onto past hurts and resentments, continually asking ‘Why??’, and continuing to get the same answer. ‘I don’t know’. The truth is it’s likely that most times you will never know the answer to life’s mysteries. Most often we never really discover the real reasons why some things happen to us, so if we allow ourselves to become attached to finding that answer then it only causes more frustration, pain and emptiness.

Take weight loss for example. When I conduct the initial weight loss hypnotherapy consultation, I very rarely ask the client to describe her current eating habits. Whatever she’s doing, it’s not working; that’s why she’s come to see me. So from where I’m standing, asking the client about what she is doing now only serves to give the unwanted behavior more power and waste valuable time that could otherwise be used to discuss more positive strategies. Even if I was to engage the client in discussion of her current behavior, she would probably tell me: ‘I don’t know why I do it.’

‘Danielle’ found herself going around in circles. She was 50 kilos overweight and getting bigger every day. No matter what work we did together, she continued to hang onto her old behaviors. Each session she would earnestly say to me: ‘I don’t know why I keep doing this’. Unfortunately, ‘Danielle’ was looking to me to provide the answer and when I couldn’t, she went away deeming the therapy a ‘failure’. You can’t win’em all.

But all was not lost; my experience with ‘Danielle’ inspired me to focus on the solution rather than the problem with my clients. Remember, your subconscious mind gives you whatever you focus on. When focusing on solutions, I like to use ‘what’ questions, such as:

* What emotions are you feeling when you overeat?;
* What purpose does overeating serve you at the time?;
* What specifically are you willing to do differently to change your circumstances?

This last question is very important. At the end of the day, ‘Danielle’ continued with her old habits and behaviors because she was not willing to do something different. No amount of hypnosis can help a person who is not willing to change what they are doing. Now, I’m not saying we should never explore the reasons why people overeat and refuse to exercise. Diagnosis is an intrinsic part of my program.

What I AM saying is that most times we don’t need to know why we are behaving in a certain way in order to be able to move away from that behavior. We simply need to get ourselves out of that stuck mindset that says ‘because I have always done this in the past, this means I am destined to do it forever.’ So the next time you feel stuck, try a ‘what’ question instead. This will open your mind to creative solutions and inspire you to do something different. Here’s to positive change.

Sonia Devine is one of Australia’s leading experts in weight loss hypnotherapy. Want to learn more about how to achieve permanent weight loss? Claim your FREE Weight Loss E-book here => http://loveyourselfslim.com.au/free_stuff

Article Source: Ask WHAT Instead of WHY

  • Share/Bookmark

How You Can Get Your Ex Back When He Is Dating Again

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 7:15 am

You finally heard the news you’ve been dreading to hear, even though you know deep down that it is going to happen one day – that your ex boyfriend is an item with someone new. The tick off? You have just broken up with him, or rather, he has recently suggested that the two of you take a break.

Needless to say, being dumped is bad enough without all the additional humiliation. Don’t go on a spy mission to compare yourself to this new interest of his, or go on to investigate if he have already been unfaithful with you in the past. Why endure the added pain just to find out the truth?

What most women do not realize is that men are easy prey to another hook up (notice how I don’t call it a relationship) right after a break up. It may be a means of killing lonely hours, seeking thrill after long period of being with a steady girlfriend, or just finding someone to share the bed. The truth is that men, unlike women, are not on the lookout for a soul mate. They can separate intimate contact from feelings, which means that “the hook up” is not what it may seem at first.

Your ex may be indulging in a rebound relationship just to ease the pain of the break up, so essentially he may still harbor feelings for you. Since he is still in a vulnerable post-breakup state, your chance of getting back together is high, and it is important to do all the right things from the very beginning, such as displaying the correct reaction to the break up. The more you wait to act, the more he will get over you and the harder it is to kiss and make up.

If you really want to get back with an ex boyfriend, try this powerful method of ignoring him. Men are “conquerers” by nature and they seek new prey from time to time. You can keep you man interested as long as you play the role of a trophy prey. The finer looking and the more out of reach you are, the more he is going to be interested.

Let him go, leave it for a while, reach out sometimes but don’t initiate getting back together. This will drive him absolutely crazy. He will be flattered yet is confused about what you really want from him. Plant the seed of possible reconciliation and watch them turn into a desire that come deep within him.

The best part is that you can do this even if you’re dumped. Why play the role of a pathetic unwanted girlfriend when you can be “the one that got away”? Men are never articulate enough to tell if they are making the correct decision especially when it comes to love (don’t we all?) and this is where you can cast doubt in his mind. Before long, he will see that he have made a huge mistake by breaking up with you and will try to get back together with you.

http://www.WinningExBack.org has help over 6000 couples get back with their ex, and now it’s your turn. Get free guide, videos and articles on how to win your ex back now. Don’t take chances when it come to getting back with an ex lover! Visit http://www.WinningExBack.org/get-ur-ex-back-magic-of-making-up.html to download your free guide today!

Article Source: How You Can Get Your Ex Back When He Is Dating Again

  • Share/Bookmark

Baby Gates For Stairs – What You Should Know

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 7:15 am

When it comes to baby gates for stairs, it seems like you have an endless array of choices. There are all kinds of different child safety gates, but the truth is, in order to protect your child you need to buy the right type of gate.

Many parents don’t realize the importance that a baby gate that is installed properly can provide. Thousands of babies and toddlers are injured or killed each year from accidents such as falling down the stairs. Sadly, the vast majority was preventable.

When you are at the point of needing baby gates for stairs, be sure you buy a hardware mounted safety gate. Do not rely on a pressure-mounted gate. Here’s why.

A pressure mounted baby gate is perfect for room-to-room use. It keeps your toddler in one area and gives you peace of mind. But it does not provide strength when pressing up against it. Around the stairs your child could be leaning up against it or trying to climb it when all of a sudden it gives way. Don’t let that happen to you.

A hardware mounted baby gate has the screws and brackets to permanently attach itself to the wall or frame. The added strength means you won’t have to be as concerned about it giving way. If you have an odd sized opening you can purchase installation kits that will help with mounting. There are also extension kits that will allow you to secure a much larger opening.

One other tip when using baby gates for stairs is to always keep an eye on your child. Yes, the gate will protect them, but as they get older they will undoubtedly try and climb it. Double check that the gate door is latched closed as well. You would be surprised at how often it’s not.

Next, go to this website at Baby Gates For Stairs where you will find information, reviews and ratings on every kind of baby safety gate. http://www.BabyGatesForStairs.com

Article Source: Baby Gates For Stairs – What You Should Know

  • Share/Bookmark

Relationships: The Art of Listening

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

In 1974, Dr. Virginia Satir presented the concept of mirroring in her groundbreaking book, “Conjoint Family Therapy.”

In 1975 Dr. Thomas Gordon wrote a best-selling book called “Parent Effectiveness Training.” In the book he taught parents to “active listen,” which means to reflect back to the speaker the feelings and information they are trying to convey.

Mirroring, or active listening, is a powerful tool, but whether or not it works depends upon your intent.

If you are active listening to another with an agenda to get them to see what they are doing wrong, or to get them to listen to you after you listen to them, then your intent in listening is to control. The person you are listening to can easily pick up the energy of control and will get angry or go into resistance. Listening with the intention to control backfires and just creates confusion in communication.

However, active listening from a true desire to understand another’s feelings and point of view can be magical. When you listen to learn and understand, rather than to control, you give the other person a great gift.

We all want to be heard and understood. While it is our responsibility to hear and understand ourselves – our own feelings and needs – and take loving action for ourselves, it also feels wonderful when someone we care about hears and understands us. This is the basis of emotional intimacy.

When I work with couples, I teach them that there are only two healthy ways of dealing with conflict:

1. Move into an intent to learn
2. Speak your truth and lovingly disengage

MOVING INTO AN INTENT TO LEARN

When you really desire to understand another, you move into an intent to learn – both about yourself and about them. Actively listening to the other is a major aspect of learning. When you really want to deeply know another, you listen carefully and mirror back to them what you hear them saying and feeling. It is not a matter of agreeing with them, but of understanding them. It is not about changing them or changing yourself, but about really hearing them and attempting to see the world through their eyes – understanding the good reasons they have for feeling and behaving as they do.

For example:

Your partner: “I’m still angry at you for being late and not calling me when you know I worry about you.”

You: “I hear you saying that it’s really unsetting to you when I don’t call when I’m going to be late. You feel I don’t care about the fact that you worry.”

Your partner: “Right. If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to worry.”

You: “I understand. It hurts your heart when you know that I know you worry and I don’t seem to care about that.”

Partner: “Yes, that’s exactly right. So if you understand this, are you going to start to call me when you are late?”

You: It sounds like you believe that if I understand you, then I will change – that I have no good reasons for not calling, is that right?

This dialogue can go on until it feels complete to both of you.

Your partner may or may not want to hear why you were late without calling, and you need to let go of getting him or her to hear you. That’s the hard part!

SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH AND LOVINGLY DISENGAGING

There are times when, even if you are open to learning and really want to understand another, the other is just intent on attacking and blaming you. When this is the case, you might want to speak your truth and lovingly disengage. This looks like saying something like: “I’d love to talk with you about this when you stop being angry,” and then walking away, keeping your heart open. This means that you are not withdrawing in anger or blame. You are staying in compassion for yourself and the other person so that when he or she opens, you have no residue because you have taken full responsibility for yourself.

Once the other person is no longer angry and blaming, you might want to again open to learning and active listening to them – with no agenda that he or she listens to you. True listening is an act of giving with no expectation of anything in return. It is a kind and loving way to interact with someone you care about. It is a great gift.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to discover real love and intimacy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website for more articles and help.

Article Source: Relationships: The Art of Listening

  • Share/Bookmark