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Uneasy about the guy my daughter is seeing?

  • Posted on April 6, 2011 at 8:17 am

A couple months ago, my daughter was dropped off at home by this guy that she’ll eventually start to bring around. I have always trusted my daughter’s choice in guys, but this guy is just something different.
My daughter normally goes for a scholar good kid type of guys. But the new guy is just whole worldly different.
He dresses like a cross over between street punk, motorcycle racer, and military. He’d wear a solid color military style cargo pants or ripped up jeans along with various motorcycle racing accessories such as boots, kneepads, leather chap, gloves, etc… slap on and he always wear a goggle on top of his head or around his neck. His hair is never combed and he seems to shave only once a week. His arms have a lot of scars (not from cutting though) and his neck and shoulder area have a couple scars as well. So he looks rather dirty.
He’s really polite and very well mannered compare to most college age guys, but at same time he’s aloof and seems to have no friends and actually doesn’t have a family. This makes me a bit uneasy but he is really good to my daughter from what I saw and know so far and my wife like him and says he always make my daughter very happy.
Other thing that bothers me is, he seems to have no realistic goal set in mind. He’s a mid level pro kickboxer and boxer for living. He’s also working on his engineering degree, but he’s doing it only part time instead of full time which means it’d take him longer to get a degree. Despite of having an old jeep, he mostly drives around on his road legal dirt bike to save money on gas. So I get the impression he really isn’t interested in working or any long term goal.
Also I just learned his mother died in a car crash when he was 13 then was a street child after running away from home at 15 because his father was a alcoholic, have brushes with law many times, mostly for fighting and some for gambling. As soon as he turned 18, he joined the air force and eventually end up on combat air controller team until he was medically discharged at 24 because he lose almost all of his hearing in a training accident.
My daughter live with us and is starting to bringing this guy over more often and she just asked if he can spend the thanksgiving with the family which make me feel a bit uneasy since this guy is just something different.
I don’t even understand what my daughter saw in him. I don’t even know much about this guy. I normally try to not judge anyone, but something about this guy make me feel uneasy. My wife wouldn’t take anything I say about him and says he’s a amazing kid especially for someone who went through what he did.
So any advice or insight would be helpful.
My daughter have says that she never feel like he’s judging her and feel really calm and stress free when she’s around him and feel like everything will be safe and okay no matter what. I find it a bit odd because if she’d have stay with this guy who was in medical school, she’d have been really secure for life. But she dumped him and end up with this guy instead.

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