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Have you seen this joke? Walmart has everything?

  • Posted on May 13, 2011 at 1:22 pm

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,

‘My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.’

‘Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,’ Mike replies.
‘There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do
about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.’
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

‘You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @
Wal-Mart.’

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

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How often do you do your shopping at the great wal-mart?

  • Posted on April 4, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Walmart Doctor

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Gary behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Gary replies

“There’s a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars – A lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart..”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Walmart

Inspired by a great contact.
Thanks Kitty2

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Wal-Mart has everything!? funny?

  • Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:21 pm

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, ‘My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.’

‘Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,’ Mike replies.
‘There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.’

So, Joe d eposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
‘You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.’

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your d og has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5 If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

hope you liked it! *offers you a cookie*

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Wal-Mart Has Everything!?

  • Posted on April 1, 2011 at 1:21 pm

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what ‘s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.” So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart. “That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
If you like, give me a star J

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i love Walmart…?

  • Posted on March 12, 2011 at 1:21 pm

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind
him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,”

Mike replies.

“There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do
about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a
doctor.”

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @
Wal-Mart.”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
THIS IS REALLY FUNNY!!
The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

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Thanks for shopping at walmart!?

  • Posted on March 11, 2011 at 1:21 pm

ONE DAY, IN LINE AT THE COMPANY CAFETERIA, JOE SAYS TO MIKE BEHIND HIM, “MY
>ELBOW HURTS LIKE HELL. I’D BETTER SEE A DOCTOR .”
>
>” LISTEN, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SPEND THAT KIND OF MONEY,” MIKE REPLIES.
>
>” THERE’S A DIAGNOSTIC COMPUTER DOWN AT WAL-MART. JUST GIVE IT A URINE
>SAMPLE AND THE COMPUTER WILL TELL YOU WHAT’S WRONG AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT
>IT.
>
>IT TAKES TEN SECONDS AND COSTS TEN DOLLARS . . . a LOT CHEAPER THAN A
>DOCTOR.”
>
>SO, JOE DEPOSITS A URINE SAMPLE IN A SMALL JAR AND TAKES IT TO WAL-MAT.
>
>HE DEPOSITS TEN DOLLARS AND THE COMPUTER LIGHTS UP ANDS ASKS FOR THE URINE
>SAMPLE. HE POURS THE SAMPLE INTO THE SLOT AND WAITS.
>
>TEN SECONDS LATER, THE COMPUTER EJECTS A PRINTOUT:
>
>YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW. SOAK YOUR ARM IN WARM WATER AND AVOID HEAVY
>ACTIVITY. IT WILL IMPROVE IN TWO WEEKS. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING @
>WAL-MART”.
>
>THAT EVENING, WHILE THINKING HOW AMAZING THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY WAS, JOE
>BEGAN WONDERING IF THE COMPUTER COULD BE FOOLED.
>
>HE MIXED SOME TAP WATER, A STOOL SAMPLE FROM HIS DOG, URINE SAMPLES FROM
>HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER, AND A SPERM SAMPLE FOR GOOD MEASURE.
>
>JOE HURRIES BACK TO WAL-MART, EAGER TO CHECK THE RESULTS. HE DEPOSITS TEN
>DOLLARS, POURS IN HIS CONCOCTION, AND AWAITS THE RESULTS.
>
>THE COMPUTER PRINTS THE FOLLOWING:
>
>1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softner. ( Aisle 9)
>2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. ( Aisle 7)
>3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her to rehab.
>4. Your wife is pregant. TWINS. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
>5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
>better!
>
>Thank you for shopping @ Walmart. ..>

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Do You Know About The New Technology at Walmart?

  • Posted on February 26, 2011 at 1:22 pm

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, “My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars… a lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
3. It will improve in two weeks.

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction and awaited the results.

The computer then prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant, Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

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My friend offered last evening to take my daughter to walmart for a job interview. he didnt show up?

  • Posted on July 25, 2010 at 4:06 pm

He must have been intoxicated and not realized he spoke with her and offered to take her to the interview. I would have offered her my car if I had known she was not going to be taken to her job interview. He said he dropped the ball and he was sorry. She has been hunting for a job ever since she graduated in May. She had a 2nd interview and missed it. Is there anything you can do when you dont show up for a job interview. I am so angry at him I could scream. How would you handle this?

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Free Stuff Free Samples and Freebies

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 9:06 pm

Free Stuff can really help today’s busy and cash-strapped family. Figure out what works for you without having to make your debit cards
work over time. From free samples to your daily freebies newsletter, free stuff can help you make your money work with some great free product samples of the newest, hottest products in the market.
Free product samples can help you try a new scent of a certain brand or product you already love, again without having to spend the cash on something that is basically a risk. Now getting free stuff samples is even easier, since big companies offer you your
daily freebies, free stuff, and free product samples right in your inbox. That’s right, you can sign up for free product samples newsletter and not have to do any work beyond clicking a link to get your free samples.

Q: How can these be Free? There has to be a catch.
A: By offering you free stuff or just a free sample you get to test the product before you buy. The merchant is hoping you will like the product and become a client.
Q: I found some companies do have a bit of a catch.
A: I know it can be frustrating, with these small companies trying to make a buck. These small companies are like sears, sign up for their cc and receive a free knife set. These type of freebies are designed for people who need to shop anyways and receive a
freebie for doing so. Think of it as if you just finished shopping at Walmart, does someone run out to your car and say, here is a freebie for shopping with us?

I love looking for free stuff and its been quite handy for my family and friends. One of my favorite sites is FreakyFreddies Has a daily free stuff newsletter with jokes about the freebies listed. Great family site.

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Article Source: Free Stuff Free Samples and Freebies

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