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Where do I stand? Should I let my daughter go for her weekend visit?

  • Posted on January 6, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Well my story is kinda long but I will try and shorten it. My daughter father’s girl friend (they now have a new three month old baby) just got a DUI. I have been concerned about what happens over there for a while and this only adds to my concern. They both very into the fact that they like to drink and party, which I believe is not a good thing for small children to have to be a part of. This had added concern to me because they have a vehicle that only have two seats and a cat with only four seat belts and when my daughter goes over there he also has another child in which they can not all fit into one car and that means she has to drive me daughter and her new infant around and their new infant. I have never felt comfortable with her driving my daughter around but I thought becoming a mother maybe she would become very cautious and careful but I guess I have been proven otherwise. We have no official custody documents, never married. What are my options do I have to let her go?
I completely agree with everyone and that is why I was asking the question. I don’t want to send my little three year girl there and if something happens, then what? I would never get over it. We have tried to do things the right way and I have tried to work with him but he is not the most reasonable and I understand at some point it will have to go to court(trying not to for daughters sake)If I tell him I don’t want her there because I am worried about her would I face any legal backlash for this? Morally I have already made my mind up she doesn’t drive her around.to be honest the only time she drove her was when I didn’t know.I do all drop off and pick ups to the house.so I keep that control but when I am not there I can’t control it. I just want to make sure that a judge would say you are being crazy and unreasonable and stop being ridiculous.

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I have an 11 year old daughter and my parents are alcoholics. What should my daughter do this weekend with em?

  • Posted on December 2, 2010 at 4:17 pm
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How to get SIL to stop doing the MIA’s every weekend?

  • Posted on October 26, 2010 at 12:17 am

My SIL & brother come in from the city every weekend. Just about every weekend she diaspears to do crack and binge drink, leaving the care and responsiblity of my two nephews with us. They just dont care, they lack total empathy. My youngest nephew (3) has down syndrome and frequent seizures, he is tube fed. The ‘button’ is infected and I’m so scared I will over dose him in on his meds bc I just dont know when he is suppose to have what. I feel so incompetant and stressed. I live with my parents bc they are elderly and have some health problems. I have 2 daughters 5 & 5mos, plus a neices & nephews that we raise 7 & 10. My father just had a knee surgery & my mother is just getting over pnemonia. Last night my Sil & brother came to town. He left to help a friend who got stuck. Not long later my SIL was talking with me in the kitchen, she left the room and I heard a door open and close… she snuck out! She most likely wont return till Monday, stay in the guest room for 2 days and come out angry w/ us! This all just happens so often that its become normal. They do this on birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. I mean when I was 39wks pregnant, my mother was sick w/ pnemonia, my father had strep, and they left for a week! This was when my nephew w/ down syndrome just started getting tube fed & no one was told about anything. Its difficult bc you just learn how to give him his meds and the docs change them and she doesnt inform us on ANYTHING! Her oldest son was living with us last year bc he couldn;t miss any more school or he would fail. He started coming to me with owiies and problems and she got mad at me! He’s 9 and when they disapear I’m the one talking to him, telling him its not his fault. She cant even use the excuse that the youngest is stressful bc this has been going on 4 ten yrs! She misses they youngest ones appointments and takes none of it serious. It does no good to talk to them bc nothing changes & it causes even more problems. We all feel like we’re enablers but what do we do? If she did this to her family once, they would call CPS on her in a heart beat. she never does anything like this to them EVER and I’m soooo angry! What do I do?
I guess why I’m letting my brother ‘off the hook’ or not coming down as hard is because he has a disability as well & his finer motor skills are lacking thus he can’t really give meds or do feedings. Thank you for all the feed back.

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How to get SIL to stop doing the MIA’s every weekend?

  • Posted on October 23, 2010 at 12:16 pm

My SIL & brother come in from the city every weekend. Just about every weekend she diaspears to do crack and binge drink, leaving the care and responsiblity of my two nephews with us. They just dont care, they lack total empathy. My youngest nephew (3) has down syndrome and frequent seizures, he is tube fed. The ‘button’ is infected and I’m so scared I will over dose him in on his meds bc I just dont know when he is suppose to have what. I feel so incompetant and stressed. I live with my parents bc they are elderly and have some health problems. I have 2 daughters 5 & 5mos, plus a neices & nephews that we raise 7 & 10. My father just had a knee surgery & my mother is just getting over pnemonia. Last night my Sil & brother came to town. He left to help a friend who got stuck. Not long later my SIL was talking with me in the kitchen, she left the room and I heard a door open and close… she snuck out! She most likely wont return till Monday, stay in the guest room for 2 days and come out angry w/ us! This all just happens so often that its become normal. They do this on birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. I mean when I was 39wks pregnant, my mother was sick w/ pnemonia, my father had strep, and they left for a week! This was when my nephew w/ down syndrome just started getting tube fed & no one was told about anything. Its difficult bc you just learn how to give him his meds and the docs change them and she doesnt inform us on ANYTHING! Her oldest son was living with us last year bc he couldn;t miss any more school or he would fail. He started coming to me with owiies and problems and she got mad at me! He’s 9 and when they disapear I’m the one talking to him, telling him its not his fault. She cant even use the excuse that the youngest is stressful bc this has been going on 4 ten yrs! She misses they youngest ones appointments and takes none of it serious. It does no good to talk to them bc nothing changes & it causes even more problems. We all feel like we’re enablers but what do we do? If she did this to her family once, they would call CPS on her in a heart beat. she never does anything like this to them EVER and I’m soooo angry! What do I do?
I guess why I’m letting my brother ‘off the hook’ or not coming down as hard is because he has a disability as well & his finer motor skills are lacking thus he can’t really give meds or do feedings. Thank you for all the feed back.

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How to get SIL to stop doing the MIA’s every weekend?

  • Posted on October 15, 2010 at 1:17 am

My SIL & brother come in from the city every weekend. Just about every weekend she diaspears to do crack and binge drink, leaving the care and responsiblity of my two nephews with us. They just dont care, they lack total empathy. My youngest nephew (3) has down syndrome and frequent seizures, he is tube fed. The ‘button’ is infected and I’m so scared I will over dose him in on his meds bc I just dont know when he is suppose to have what. I feel so incompetant and stressed. I live with my parents bc they are elderly and have some health problems. I have 2 daughters 5 & 5mos, plus a neices & nephews that we raise 7 & 10. My father just had a knee surgery & my mother is just getting over pnemonia. Last night my Sil & brother came to town. He left to help a friend who got stuck. Not long later my SIL was talking with me in the kitchen, she left the room and I heard a door open and close… she snuck out! She most likely wont return till Monday, stay in the guest room for 2 days and come out angry w/ us! This all just happens so often that its become normal. They do this on birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. I mean when I was 39wks pregnant, my mother was sick w/ pnemonia, my father had strep, and they left for a week! This was when my nephew w/ down syndrome just started getting tube fed & no one was told about anything. Its difficult bc you just learn how to give him his meds and the docs change them and she doesnt inform us on ANYTHING! Her oldest son was living with us last year bc he couldn;t miss any more school or he would fail. He started coming to me with owiies and problems and she got mad at me! He’s 9 and when they disapear I’m the one talking to him, telling him its not his fault. She cant even use the excuse that the youngest is stressful bc this has been going on 4 ten yrs! She misses they youngest ones appointments and takes none of it serious. It does no good to talk to them bc nothing changes & it causes even more problems. We all feel like we’re enablers but what do we do? If she did this to her family once, they would call CPS on her in a heart beat. she never does anything like this to them EVER and I’m soooo angry! What do I do?
I guess why I’m letting my brother ‘off the hook’ or not coming down as hard is because he has a disability as well & his finer motor skills are lacking thus he can’t really give meds or do feedings. Thank you for all the feed back.

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How to get SIL to stop doing the MIA’s every weekend?

  • Posted on October 13, 2010 at 11:19 am

My SIL & brother come in from the city every weekend. Just about every weekend she diaspears to do crack and binge drink, leaving the care and responsiblity of my two nephews with us. They just dont care, they lack total empathy. My youngest nephew (3) has down syndrome and frequent seizures, he is tube fed. The ‘button’ is infected and I’m so scared I will over dose him in on his meds bc I just dont know when he is suppose to have what. I feel so incompetant and stressed. I live with my parents bc they are elderly and have some health problems. I have 2 daughters 5 & 5mos, plus a neices & nephews that we raise 7 & 10. My father just had a knee surgery & my mother is just getting over pnemonia. Last night my Sil & brother came to town. He left to help a friend who got stuck. Not long later my SIL was talking with me in the kitchen, she left the room and I heard a door open and close… she snuck out! She most likely wont return till Monday, stay in the guest room for 2 days and come out angry w/ us! This all just happens so often that its become normal. They do this on birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. I mean when I was 39wks pregnant, my mother was sick w/ pnemonia, my father had strep, and they left for a week! This was when my nephew w/ down syndrome just started getting tube fed & no one was told about anything. Its difficult bc you just learn how to give him his meds and the docs change them and she doesnt inform us on ANYTHING! Her oldest son was living with us last year bc he couldn;t miss any more school or he would fail. He started coming to me with owiies and problems and she got mad at me! He’s 9 and when they disapear I’m the one talking to him, telling him its not his fault. She cant even use the excuse that the youngest is stressful bc this has been going on 4 ten yrs! She misses they youngest ones appointments and takes none of it serious. It does no good to talk to them bc nothing changes & it causes even more problems. We all feel like we’re enablers but what do we do? If she did this to her family once, they would call CPS on her in a heart beat. she never does anything like this to them EVER and I’m soooo angry! What do I do?
I guess why I’m letting my brother ‘off the hook’ or not coming down as hard is because he has a disability as well & his finer motor skills are lacking thus he can’t really give meds or do feedings. Thank you for all the feed back.

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Mom is using herion; should child still go over everyother weekend?

  • Posted on September 2, 2010 at 1:20 am

We just found out that my step daughters mother and boyfriend are heavy heroin users. My husband has full custody and the mom has every other weekend with the daughter..and we don’t think it is ok for our child to be in an atmosphere where it is dangerous.

Are we over reacting? I don’t know how people act on heroin.

My husband will be contacting his lawyer on Monday. However, his daughter is supposed to go over there today and sleep over…what would you do?

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Ex has our daughter every other weekend. her stepmother treats her badly. and says daddy drinks and drives.?

  • Posted on August 6, 2010 at 1:22 am

My 7 year old daughter has been going to see her dad everyother weekend for over 6 years.Over the past 3 years her stepmother since she had her baby has been horrible to her. She yells at her. Lies to her father to get her in trouble. drops her off at grandparents to get family pics done without her. I have talked to her father over and over. He says he wont leave her and be a weekend dad. She tells my daughter i put dirty cloths on her. I got an ex parte motion for suspended visitation. He says wont will and it will blow up in my face. My daughter aslo just told me he drinks and drives with her in the car. How do i prove all of this stuff. I cant afford a lawyer He also got a dwi a few years back. and is way behind on child suppot. He thinks the law dosnt include him. Please help me.

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Explosive Irritibility, every weekend my married daughter can’t stop the pattern?

  • Posted on July 27, 2010 at 9:23 am

She is newly married and expecting but even before she was the very same on her weekends in particular. I think its a dry drunk thing, she has ceased AA, claims to think she might be able to socially drink in the future but is off the anger charts every single weekend. How can we her faqmily cope?

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Explosive Irritibility, every weekend my married daughter can’t stop the pattern?

  • Posted on January 2, 2010 at 12:12 pm

She is newly married and expecting but even before she was the very same on her weekends in particular. I think its a dry drunk thing, she has ceased AA, claims to think she might be able to socially drink in the future but is off the anger charts every single weekend. How can we her faqmily cope?

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