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Is this the best joke you’ve heard in a verrry long time or what…?

  • Posted on April 28, 2011 at 1:21 pm

…and Yes, star if you like it please…it IS funny! Thx.

Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.” Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.”
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
“Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.”

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Horrible Dream …what does it mean?

  • Posted on March 18, 2011 at 3:20 am

ok so i woke up at 4am in the morning with my heart beating really fast i dream i was waiting for my daughter and that she came to me and that she was either drugged by someone or she drugged herself and she told me it was heroin anyway it seemed so real and since she just turned fourteen im just so afraid how many suprises she will give me in the future…shes my only daughter and im just afraid of her teen years i know her friends and their mothers but sometimes kids meet friends taht we dont know of ..her myspace is monitered by me all the time i have her password..my husband tells me dont worry shes a good girl but when i use to be a teen i used to be a good girl and i used to have a devil side of me my parents didnt know of but i was never into drugs…what do you all think is it maybe i watch tooo much tv and movies that they just give me bad ideas about teens…what is it?someone please help
ps i always talk to her baout druugs and teen sex and she listens shes not the type that says oh mom this talk again

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am i wrong for being upset …what to do help!!!!?

  • Posted on March 12, 2011 at 3:23 pm

ok so i don’t like my boyfriend to drink, but i don’t mind it either but ir just bothers me when he gets drunk but im ok..well i get mad if he drives drunk so it upsets me..the other night he was drunk he TXT me asking what i was doing and i told him i was in bed already so he was like o ok nvm i figured he was drunk but hoping he wasn’t well turned out he was and needed a ride home his best friend texts me saying he was really drunk and really needed a ride home i got in tears i was really upset well being his girlfriend and not wanting him to drive home and something happen to him or someone else i got up woke up my 3yr old daughter and went to get him..he knew i was upset and he was apologizing to me the drive home i was in tears the whole way, i didn’t talk to him cuz i was upset and he was getting mad to cuz i was ignoring him..well i love him and care for him a alot i was just sooo upset especially bc i had to wake my daughter up, i ignored him the whole next day and he understood i was upset and i told him y i was mad which was i had to wake up my daughter to pick his drunk butt up, for not havin any shame in doing that, and for being irresponsible in getting DRUNK especially when he knew he wasn’t gonna have a ride home, and all but i just dnt know ,he drinks to get rid of his problems and to deal with stuff and to just not think about his problems much which of course does not work and just makes things worse he drinks too Much nd he knows it he knows he has a drinking problem but idk what to do hes apologized to me and he knows he f@#kd up but i just dont want to tlk to him im sooo upset with him, and now he is getting upset cuz i wont tlk to him i love him and all and care for him sooo much he tells me that ignoring him aint goin to make the situation btr which he is right about but i just dont know what to tell him he knows why im mad i told him so y cant he just understand i dnt want to tlk to him right now im so infuriated tho so i think its best so i wont go ballistic on him i just dont want him to think im gonna leave him cuz im not i just dnt know what to tell him at the moment someone plz help me and help me help him cuz im really worried for him!!!!

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