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Why are the women in my family so hateful?

  • Posted on May 11, 2011 at 5:21 am

There are a few women in my extended family who are extremely hateful. First of all, I have been told by my mother that they resent me because I “got the chance” to go to college, and because I make better money than they do. While they aren’t mean to me in person, I hear numerous rumors that I find out have originally came from them, also one of them stares at me every time I’m around her. Anyways, besides that, they also pick on one other woman, who has been in our family since she married my male relative about 18 years ago. Well, that male relative of mine committed suicide a couple of years ago, and ever since then these women will NOT stop obsessing over his wife. They were separated but still married when he died, and they have children together. These hateful women say that his wife is the main reason why he committed suicide, which I find ridiculous because the man was addicted to heroin and xanax for years. Besides blaming his wife for his suicide, they call her a “class A sl*t”, “trashy”, “a shi**ty mother”, materialistic, and evil. It doesn’t stop there, they even attack her mother who is a 60 something year old grandma. They say that she was a sl*t just like her daughter is. Some of it might be true, but regardless I think it is wrong of them to say these things. Besides that it is just mean, I feel like they are forming an obsession with her. She is their main topic of conversation when they are together, but of course they are nice to her face (just like they are with me). WHY do they do this???? How can I deal with it? I try to avoid them but my mother gets offended that I don’t want to see her family even though I’ve explained to her why I dislike these particular family members….help?

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Why are these women so hateful?

  • Posted on April 25, 2011 at 3:21 pm

There are a few women in my family who are extremely hateful. First of all, I have been told by my mother that they resent me because I “got the chance” to go to college, and because I make better money than they do. While they aren’t mean to me in person, I hear numerous rumors that I find out have originally came from them, also one of them stares at me every time I’m around her. Sometimes they make snide remarks to me, such as when I had a minor car accident, one of them said, “haha. that’s a dumb way to wreck your car.” and walked away. Anyways, besides that, they also pick on one other woman in our family, who has been in our family since she married my male relative about 18 years ago. Well, that male relative of mine committed suicide a couple of years ago, and ever since then these women will NOT stop obsessing over his wife. They were separated but still married when he died, and they have children together. These hateful women say that his wife is the main reason why he committed suicide, which I find ridiculous because the man was addicted to heroin and xanax for years. Besides blaming his wife for his suicide, they call her a “class A sl*t”, “trashy”, “a shi**ty mother”, materialistic, and evil. It doesn’t stop there, they even attack her mother who is a 60 something year old grandma. They say that she was a sl*t just like her daughter is. Some of it might be true, but regardless I think it is wrong of them to say these things. Besides that it is just mean, I feel like they are forming an obsession with her. She is their main topic of conversation when they are together, but of course they are nice to her face (just like they are with me). WHY do they do this???? How can I deal with it? I try to avoid them but my mother gets offended that I don’t want to see her family even though I’ve explained to her why I dislike these particular family members….help?

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So because women are drinking more and DUI’s are up its because they have a “bigger burden”?

  • Posted on February 6, 2011 at 5:24 pm

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090807/ap_on_re_us/us_wrong_way_crash_women_drinkers

“Our society has taught us that women have an extra burden to be the perfect mothers and perfect wives and perfect daughters and perfect everything,” Levounis said. “They tend to go to great lengths to keep everything intact from an external viewpoint while internally, they are in ruins.”

In the current recession, women’s incomes have become more important because so many men have lost their jobs, experts say. Men are helping out more at home, but working mothers still have the bulk of the child rearing responsibilities.

“Because of that, they have a bigger burden then most men do,” said clinical psychologist Carol Goldman. “We have to look at the pressures on women these days. They have to be the supermom.”

And just becoming a parent doesn’t mean people will stop using drugs or alcohol, Ducharme said: “If you have a real addictive personality, just having a child isn’t going to make the difference.”
———————————————————–

I’m sorry but this sounds like a load of victimhood crap. Do we attempt to justify why images of men dominate the DUI landscape because of their “gender role” burdens? Nope..we generally depict them as morons incapable of rational thought when they get behind the wheel.

Are these supposed experts using femininity as a crutch in this instance to promote compassionate double standards for female offenders? So NOW they need to dilligantly look into the pressures of female alcoholics…..all the while…men’s suicide rate is sky high compared to women….do we attest that to…a “bigger burden” too? *rolleyes*

I’d like to think that if you get behind the wheel while intoxicated you are a moron regardless of gender.

/end rant
OK lipgloss I agree to a degree….when you see couple decades worth of demonizing the act of DUI mostly by men hence…

“There’s the impression out there that drunk driving is strictly a male issue, and it is certainly not the case,”

does not mean we need to suddenly need to now humanize it simply because women are on the rise as offenders. Sorry but still sounds like an excuse to justify the external locus of control mentality. Nobody forces them to put the bottle into their mouths…why even use the gender role as talking point if not to bridge compassion when it was never there to begin with for male offenders? Sorry but the double standard is blatantly obvious.

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Women with new mother-in-laws and women with new daughter-in-laws?

  • Posted on February 2, 2011 at 1:21 pm

I always knew my mother-in-law was a little promiscuous. She had been with two handfuls of men before she met her husband. They just got married. She always puts her husband and his children before my husband and my sister-in-law. She treats them like garbage, anyways

Before my husband was born she had a baby and he was born with a cleft lip and pallet and he was deformed. Today I found out it was because she had a cocaine addiction. She also was very embarrassed of the baby and did not want to hold him. He died the very same day. Turned out the baby probably wasn’t my father-in-laws.

Then when my husband was born he also had a cleft lip but no pallet. My grandmother-in-law told me she was very embarrassed of him also.

I cannot keep a secret from my husband especially this big of a secret, but I don’t want to hurt him either? What should I do?

If I would tell him how should I bring it up and let him know?

Thank you.

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Do you like women who… drink, smoke, curse?

  • Posted on November 8, 2010 at 4:32 pm

Men do you find it attractive when women do things such as drink, smoke, and curse?

My whole life my dad brought me up to never ever curse, drink, or smoke. Or do other things like sleep around, I was always brought up to be really femine and respectful, and I wouldn’t say “keep my mouth shut” but it was more like a respect your elders, and not sound obnoxious.

Don’t get me wrong I am highly opinionated and went through my faze in my teens where I did all the bad things I could lol. I am no angel but I just find it so trashy when women smoke and curse I think it makes them seem unrefined and not very pretty. I like to exude a somewhat tough exterior but I don’t do it by acting like a grungy dude.

My boyfriends friends date these girls who are so trailer parkish, I mean looking at them I know if any of them ever started something with me I could kick their butts but I don’t make it a point to intimidate them or try to make them feel uncomfortable. Furthermore, I am wondering do his friends really find these skeezy girls attractive cursing wile smoking a cigarette joking about perverted things along with them being all loud? I think its repulsive and I just think if they had my dad he would slap them upside their nasty heads lol.

There are plenty of people who were raised like me, I mean it was on the strict side and my mom and dad made a million mistakes, but honestly I feel like I demonstrate more inner beauty by being just old fashioned lady like. I mean one day I am going to be a mother to a little child and so will they (and some already have kids.)

I know I don’t want my future daughter acting like this. I don’t think it makes them seem tough either, it only makes them seem MORE insecure, as if they are trying to hide that really they are frightened to act themselves.

I choose not to drink or smoke because one alcoholism runs in my family, I cannot be productive when I smoke weed, and cigarettes are just nasty and personally I like fresh breath and white teeth.

I am only 21 and even when I was a younger rebel I NEVER acted trashy. I have only ever been with one guy and will someday hopefully marry him. However, that doesn’t mean I do not wonder what other guys think.

I don’t think tattoo’s are trashy I do think they tend to make women look older once they hit 30+. But they look cute on younger girls too bad they age right lol. I will personally never get one simply because I change my mind twice a day lol.

I dunno guys what do you think? Do you perfer women who do everything you do or do you like classy girls who keep their wild side hidden?
Fried kitten- does a little girls start out drinking and cursing and acting trashy??? those are learned traits people adapt because other people are doing them.

furthermore I forget who said I was stuck up, I am far from it and all through out highschool befriended people everyone else was cruel to. I care about other peoples emotions which is why I choose to carry myself the way I do. There is no reason to act damaged and untamed and represent yourself poorly because you feel it defines who you are.

I can see how this question could make me seem “stuck up.” But in reality I have never been called that.

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Young women. How is my daughter going to rebel?…..?

  • Posted on October 6, 2010 at 1:23 pm

I took a mass of LSD Cocaine, Heroine, etc, but what’s she going to do?

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is my relationship with my daughter affecting my relationship with women?

  • Posted on August 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm

I have a very close relationship with my 5 year old she is my life, pretty much the only reason why i wake up every morning just to see her little face, like everything i do is for her,I feel like theres women out there and they come and go but my baby girl is always going to be there, its like she’s the only girl i adore,especially with all the crap i took from her mother and still am taking, even if i meet a girl and I’m with her I’m reluctant to introduce them too my baby girl because I want her too have stability in her life not just someone who’s there one minute and is gone the next, especially now that i have full custody of her because her mother is going to be in jail for 140 days and I’m the only parent she has right now..like the only thing she knows right now is mommy’s sick and can’t be with her, when she’s really in jail for getting caught with cocaine and driving while intoxicated, like i can see myself either back together with her mother or alone & its been like that for almost 7 years, but its like she’s the only lady i need in my life right now., like nobody is ever good enough to introduce to her..

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Doctor who prescribes diet pills during pregnancy and women who take them?

  • Posted on July 30, 2010 at 7:21 pm

My mother in law is 72 years old now, but 54 years ago she was a newly wed starting a family. Her first child was a big baby. When she became pregnant with her second child, she begged her doctor to help her have a smaller baby. Her OB/GYN prescribed diet pills and she took those little pills during her entire pregnancy. Her baby girl was huge in spite of those diet pills.

After my sister in law was born, my mother in law said the baby cried constantly. Once they got home from the hospital, my mother law says that my sister in law slept all the time. From birth until age 12, my sister law’s favorite place was her bed. She slept constantly. Even now, at age 51, her favorite pass time is sleeping.

During adolescence and young adult hood, my sister in law became addicted to methamphetamine. She said taking the drug made her feel normal. She is now a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, but she still misses the drugs. Her daughter, my niece, is also a methamphetamine addict. My niece spent two years in prison for criminal activity associated with drug abuse. The cycle continues.

Is there anyway possible the diet pills my mother in law took during her pregnancy 52 years ago could have caused my sister in law’s drug addiction and subsequently my niece’s drug addiction?

I can’t help but wonder. Although I have suggested this possibility to my mother in law, she thinks it is far fetched. She also doesn’t think taking those diet pills while pregnant was wrong — she has justified it as being prescribed by her doctor and she was just following his instruction.

Could there be a connection?

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Dating Younger Women

  • Posted on January 19, 2010 at 12:06 am

Dating Younger Women

 

Dating younger women is not as difficult as you might think. It’s a scientific fact that women mature earlier than men. Many times they’re tired of dealing with adolescent behavior in a man who is their age. There are a lot of young women who prefer to be with an older man because he is mature; someone that they feel they don’t have to raise.

 

To be sure, some younger women are attempting to find husband. Or worse, a ‘Sugar Daddy’. Unless you’re looking for a young wife, or actually like to have a kept woman, you should avoid these women like the plague.

 

Almost all women want protection and security. They know when they go out with an older man the likelihood of the evening going sour is greatly reduced. They are more comfortable and more open because they don’t have to worry about being embarrassed by a drunken or high boyfriend. They rely on the older man’s maturity to keep them safe.

 

You would be surprised at how many young women are attracted to older men. And why not?! Older men are generally better established, sure of themselves, and sure of what they really want. They love the way an older man can make them feel like they are the most special person in the world. They have his full attention and he lavishes his time on them.

 

There are some areas to be cautious with when dating a younger woman.

Don’t be too serious up front. She will become either scared or bored.

A woman loves to laugh. Find ways to make her laugh and she will, in turn, find ways to please you.

She’s your date, not your daughter. Don’t confuse the two.

Don’t make unnecessary advances. Let her start the flirting; you know the signals that she’ll give when she’s wanting to go a little further.

 

 

Dating a younger can be a wonderful, exhilarating experience for both of you. She’s ready for a man like you. All you have to do is read the signs.

 

Succeed At Dating…

 

Watch FREE hidden camera pickup videos and discover

how to approach, meet and get dates with attractive

women at the shopping mall, the park, even the street!

http://www.SucceedAtDating.com

 

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Latin Cupid american men dating brazilian women

  • Posted on January 13, 2010 at 1:06 pm

American Men dating Brazilian Women

Here are some general pointers (which I repeat may not apply to all Brazilian women):

See some examples here

1) There is a strong sense of family in Brazil. The extended family is also important. Married people or people in committed relationships do not go to “Boys Night Out” or “Girls Night Out” where they can flirt with other people. Men might play soccer with their buddies in the afternoon, women might have a coffee and shoppping with their female friends, but they do not go out at night and leave their partner alone at home. No strip clubs for men in committed relationships either. That is all a no no and even shocking for us Brazilians.

2) When it comes to engagement and weddings, Brazilian women are used to some different things. We do not require you spend thousands on a diamond ring. We do not have that tradition (see my post about engagement rings). We are happy with a simpler ring or just the wedding bands.  Some of us though, after living in America and seeing so many De Beers ads, may want a diamond ring too.

3) Do not even think of having a dalliance with hookers and strippers just because it is your bachelor’s party. We consider that cheating and don’t be surprised if your fiance cancels the wedding if she finds it out. We do not even have the bachelor party tradition.  Very few men celebrate that, while the bride’s friends do get together to get her presents for her new home. Sometimes men participate as well (a tradition that is also starting here).

4) Latin people in general are more emotional and more possessive, keep that in mind when you fight with her.

5) Women are raised to be feminine, to do female things (they may have piano and ballet lessons, not baseball or rough sports). Many are stil raised to get married and have babies as the first focus and their career as a secondary pursuit-a necessary evil. Women are encouraged to spend a lot of their time in their looks-body, clothes and hair. Staying attractive is sine qua non in a culture that judges people by how they look.

6) Even though racism is not as pervasive and divisionary as in the U.S.A., lighter skinned Brazilians look down on darker skinned Brazilians. They see darker Brazilians as belonging to the lower social classes.

7) Brazil still has a strong division of classes. Not only it is quite visible but there is little interaction between the classes (unless the “lower classes” are working for the “higher” ones). Sad but true.

8) Many middle class Brazilian girls were raised with maids. Therefore, they are not used to doing housework, which is seen as something beneath them. Working with your hands in Brazil is also associated with the lower classes.

Remember that Brazil had slavery just like the American South, and one of the consequences of slavery  is that it can take several generations for their descendants to reach the same level of success in life that their former owners had.  Therefore,  Brazilians from African descent became part of the struggling poor in Brazil-they had a harder time getting education and better jobs. Fortunately this situation is slowly improving. Brazilian men and women oftentimes do not know how to fix things or are impractical dure to cheap labor and being catered to all their lives.

9) Brazilian women expect the man to be a gentleman. They like a man who opens doors, drives them places, changes their oil, etc. when it comes to practical things. But when it comes to decision making, Brazilian women are opinionated and are not shrinking violets. They expect you to respect them and share your decisions with them if part of a couple.

10) Never, under any circumstances, call your GF or wife the B word. Name calling in Brazil is considered extremely offensive, and a man should never call his wife names no matter how terrible the argument is. A wife, like a mother or a daughter, is sacred. American movies show a lot of cursing (the F word seems to be the most popular). Brazilians associate cursing with gangsters and lowlifes.

11) The mother in law thing. Many older women in Brazil are in dire economical situation due to widowhood, divorce, lack of opportunities, low paid jobs. The older generation of women did not usually work outside the home. Therefore, they expect their children to take care of them. Many of these mothers interfere in their childrens’ relationships and try to control their daughters or sons.

They are also often lonely and live vicariously through their offspring. They use guilt tactics to keep the children catering to their needs and see the children-in-law as the devil themselves. They take their kids’s side if they have problems with their spouses and sometimes destroy marriages with their interference. Not every mother in law is like that: the ones with careers, the ones in happy relationships and the ones with a life of their own. So beware of the dependant MIL!

12) You and her (or him, in case of an American woman with an American man)  might have differences when it comes to how to use your time. Brazilians consider Sunday sacred. It is not a day to work, but a day to lounge around, go to the beach, have a barbecue by the pool, watch soccer or Formula One, visit with friends, go sightseeing, nap or watch movies and other leisure actitivities.

Saturday they might run errands, but never on Sundays! It is not only the Catholic influence but also the fact that in their minds, the work week is for work, while the weekend is for pleasure and rest. So if you like to tinker with your car, wash your car, rebuild the roof, clean the garage or mow the lawn on a Sunday you will find resistance. She will feel abandoned. In her mind, you should be with her and not ignoring her with “chores”.  Not only that, she was raised seeing her Dad pay someone to do those things. The help works, the middle class and the upper middle class rests and plays.

13) Once you marry and have children with a Brazilian, you have to understand some cultural differences when it comes to being a couple. In Brazil, the focus is on the COUPLE. The children come second.  You and your wife are the main unit, not you and your kids. Many American men and women turn their focus to the children after they are born , spending little alone time with their spouse.

Not spending enough alone time with your spouse, not romancing them  and spending too much time on the kids can create resentment.

Brazil does not have the “Daddy and Daughter” culture. Children spend time with their parents together, not with only one parent. Telling your kids how much you love them, hugging and kissing them all the time and not doing the same with your spouse can create resentment.  Brazilians want the romance to continue, no matter how long you have been married. They want to walk hand in hand, they want some PDA, they want to know they come first.

14) Finally the good stuff: because of the strong family sense and their natural warmth, Brazilian women are very loyal, family oriented, feminine looking and affectionate companions!

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