(Sorry its so long but I made the biggest mistake in my life)
I’m Angela and I’m 16 years old and my sister is Heather and she’s 15. Last Friday night I went to a house party at my best friend’s house and I invited my sister along. She’s had never been to a party and I go every week, she’s the good daughter in the family.
I told our dad we were going out to the movies with my friends and sleeping over at my friends house for the weekend. He didn’t want to but finally agreed because my sister was coming with me. He dropped us off at the theater and my boyfriend picked us up and drove us to the party.
There was alcohol and drugs at the party and my sister promised not to drink or do drugs, she knows me and my bf drink alcohol and smoke weed. There was over 80 people at the party, most of them were from our high school. Heather stuck with me and my boyfriend most of the night but then my bf wanted to go to the motel cause the house was too crowded and I told my sister I was leaving, she BEGGED me not to leave but I told her it would just be for an hour and that I’ll be back.
I left her alone just to go have sex with my bf. We left to a motel and were gone for more than two hours and when we got back to the party my friend said my sister had gotten drunk and left with some man.
I was drunk and high and couldn’t think straight, my bf drove me back home and I told my dad EVERYTHING that happened and he was really pissed off. He kicked my bf out of the house and after making a call to the police station my dad pulled me out of the house and into the car with him.
We drove to the same motel me and my bf were in earlier and he told me to wait in the car, after talking with a cop who was outside of the motel he went over to a room with the cop. Minutes later he walked out with my sister in his arms, she was unconscious, she only had bed sheets wrapped around her.
The cops arrested a 35 year old man who admitted to say he slipped a roofie (the “date rape drug”) in her drink and brought her to the motel and raped her. No one knew what the man was doing at the party, no one knew him. Later the police found out he had raped 3 other girls before.
I know it was my fault for leaving her alone when she wanted me to stay. My dad told me yesterday morning I was going back to juvie. I’ve been in juvie three times already, once for drugs, once for stealing a car and once for running away with my bf.
My sister was in the hospital all day saturday and brought back home sunday. I wanted to talk to her and apologize but she didn’t want to see me, my dad didn’t let me get close to her.
She HAS to know I’m sorry for being such a bad sister. She was a virgin and I caused for her to be raped for being selfish. I can’t eat, sleep or stop crying, I need to talk to her before I’m put I’m juvie on friday. My probation officer said I’ll have to stay in juvie for TWO YEARS for breaking my probation by doing drugs.
I know that’s where I belong, I’m a bad person and need to stay away from my sister to keep her safe with my dad. Our mom works ALL the time and we hardly ever see her, maybe once every two weeks, my mom came back and she told me she wished I was never born because I’m always causing trouble. I know she’s right.
Everything would be better without me here. I feel like if I’m dying inside, I have so much pain in me and no one in my family to comfort me, my dad doesn’t want to talk to me either. I hate myself for having this happen to her. My bf and friends try to comfort me but its not helping at all.
How can I apologize to my family, what can I say?
Will they ever forgive me?
Any advice???
I made all my mistakes for being in a gang, there is no way out, my bf is the gang leader and we love each other. I don’t think I can live with myself if they never want to see me again, I need help knowing what to do. My bf wants me to run away to Mexico with him, he doesn’t want me to be in juvie for two years, we love each other so much and I don’t know if I should go, if I go I won’t be able to come back and see them ever again.
I posted this question yesterday also, I don’t know what I’m exactly looking for, I know there is nothing that will change what happened.
Plz if you are parents, what would you do if I was your daughter???
Plz help!
The reason why I was writing a story is because I was writing about what I was going through! My mom was my child psychologist and she tried to help me out but it didn’t work, I was in too deep in the gang to get out.
I’m a good student in school, I just can’t deal with life outside, my english teacher is the only adult who tries to help me, he understands me but I haven’t been able to tell him about what happened, I haven’t been to school.